The WORST week

 Monday March 24

         We had a great night of teaching.  We first went to L. and his girl’s house.  The girls are already enamored by church.  They are reading the Book of Mormon. We left off reading 3 Nephi 11 at the last visit.  When we asked them what stood out to them, G (15 year old) replied: “When all the people touched the marks on Christ’s hands.”  Their father accepts the Book of Mormon, but since he didn’t grow up with a religion or the habit of going to church, helping him make and keep commitments will require a lot more follow-up.  We watched “The Restoration” only they didn’t have a remote control on their DVD player, which meant that we couldn’t select the language options.  They really wanted to watch it.  I ended up translating from English to Portuguese.  I have watched it quite a few times now, so I was able to do it.  It is remarkable to think how far my language skills have come in just a few short months.  The gift of tongues is real!

Wednesday, March 26

         Today, around noon, I received a phone call from President Lima, which once again sent my companion and I into a state of panic.  It isn’t every day that your mission president calls you!  Anyway, he asked to speak to just to me (red flag #1), and then to praise me on the many miracles that my companion and I have been having lately (red flag #2).  In nearly the same sentence he said that my Dad would be calling me later that day and that I should remain alert to a call from an unknown number.  I was in a state of shock knowing that your parents are only allowed to call if something SERIOUS happens at home.  I stammered out, “Por que?” President assured me not to worry…(right), and that everything would be all right. 

         All of the other sisters were there, and as I shared what President had said, a thick silence filled our ant-infested kitchen.  I asked Sister Brown, knowing and trusting that she would give me an honest answer,  “Parents only call if something really bad happens, right?”  She confirmed with a nod and a big hug.  Her uncle died of cancer while she was serving, so she is familiar with the process of grieving.

         Anyways, I tried to push the looming phone call out of my mind and we worked hard today.  We had some really great lessons and we found a new family to teach.  But, in the moments between talking, teaching, and testifying, my mind raced with all of the different possibilities of why my parents would call me: car wreck, family death, cancer, something happening to Garrison on his mission, etc.  My sweet companion showed true compassion today and really helped me cope with the feelings of anticipation and panic.  She made chicken soup for lunch and called Sister Lima to get permission for me to take drugs for my long lasting diarrhea problem. She also took command of our lessons, and gave me space and time to think when I needed it.  Even then, I worked 9.5 hours today with a pit in my stomach. 

         After a long day of work, the call finally came with my Mom and Dad calling directly through to my cell phone.  They didn’t mince words, and very directly explained the situation. Though they gave detailed descriptions of all that they knew, there were a few words that punctuated the conversation: Dad, cancer, 10 years, chemo, stem cell transplant, testing, plasma cells, pain, etc…

         I don’t know quite how to describe the impact this kind of news has on you when you are striving every day to serve as a missionary.  We see trials in other people’s lived, helping other people move forward, an then to hear the words, “Your Dad has cancer.”  It just stops you. Suddenly your focus turns from helping people with their problems, to realizing that you are going to be the one needing hope and healing.

         My parents reassured me that the prognosis is bearable given some difficult treatments ahead, that my dad is strong enough to endure it, and that they feel that they have great access to the best treatments available.  But even then, it is a shock that I am sure will hang around for a while.  My father might not be there when my children are baptized, receive the priesthood, or get married.  THAT is huge.  My mom will likely lose her companion prematurely.  THAT is huge.  My lifelong fear of losing one of my parents prematurely is a real possibility.  THAT is huge. 

         But you know, life goes on. Our family will be strengthened through this trial.  We have great support through church, friends, and family.  It will be all right in the end.  We live with a living, breathing knowledge that through Christ, we will be raised again.  Through God’s perfect plan and through his infinite priesthood power, my family is sealed together with and eternal bond. My dad will always be my dad.  My mom will always be my mom.  I have complete confidence that the pains and sufferings in this life are merely a blink of an eye in our eternal progression.  Life goes on.  I am so grateful to be here on a mission, to be able to be so close to the Spirit, to strive every day to serve others.  I hope that for the next 8 months I can continue to work, serve, and love with all of my heart, might, mind, and strength to bring peace and happiness to others.  Well it is very late, time to try to sleep.

Thursday March 27

We had to get up at 5:00, endure 3 hour of public transportation, and then have our evaluation for the newbies.  We received good instruction, I held it (mostly) together and Sister R. was a rock star.  She has really progressed a lot.  I have full confidence that she will be a great leader in this mission.  After lunch, I asked Elder Papworth to give me a blessing. When I was super sick in the MTC, his blessing brought me great comfort and peace.  This blessing this time around brought that same sweet spirit. I just love that kid.  I am so grateful for these kind, worthy, sincere, and well-prepared young priesthood holders.  After Elder Papworth gave me a blessing today, he gave me this note before leaving: “For the lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them into living fountains of waters; and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.”  Revelation 7:17.

         After the blessing, President Lima called me in for a private interview.  Once again I realized the complete lack of emotional connection I feel for him.  His advice, “ look to the future, keep working.” It felt like cookie cutter standardized speech that he had delivered to a dozen other unfortunate missionaries in similar situations.  Needless to say, I did not leave his office feeling emotionally lighter. 

         On the up side, I DID get a package!  How fortuitous!  The AP’s helped us carry our packages all the way to the metro station.  Our APs compensate for the lack of warmth of our president.  They connect easily with people, are humble, and it is very clear that they are concerned about you as an individual, not just as one more missionary.

         We got back to our area around 6:30 p.m. and oh man was I every emotionally drained! I opted out of talking to 30 strangers on the dog-poop laden streets of Rio, in favor of opening my care package.  Sister R. also got a package full of junk food.  My Mom thoughtfully included birthday cards for me (a month early).  I needed them!  After we opened our packages, I opted to go to the chapel and play piano for a half an hour.  Then we went and taught Al. and Jos.  The spirit was the strongest that I have ever felt it. We didn’t have a lesson plan, we hadn’t practiced anything beforehand, and we were simply guided by the spirit to the right questions to ask and the right things to answers to give.  We taught and testified of the Plan of Salvation, answers to prayers, and eternal families.  Everyone was moved, and we committed Jos. to baptism.  It was yet another manifestation that the Lord is in control and that I am in Brasil for a reason.

Friday, March 28

         Rough day…exhaustion caught up to me.  I recounted, “my dad has cancer” to at least 5 people, and each time it emotionally drains me.  Not to mention that I cannot get rid of this horrible diarrhea.  I made it through our weekly planning session, lunch at An. and P., and our lesson with G and J.   Three appointments fell through, and by 6:00 pm I was pretty much useless.  My usual confidence and enthusiasm was completely gone.  We headed for home.  I slept for an hour, and then we headed to the chapel with an interview with our bishop.  The interview with him was infinitely more personal and spiritual than with my President. BUT, hearing “this is part of God’s plan, and God will cure your Father, “ are just not very comforting things to me right now.  I already know and understand our purpose here on earth.  I know this is just one more trial to endure in our mortal life. I have not once questioned, “Why him? Why now?”  I know why.  I spend hours every day explaining why.  I don’t want to hear another person telling me what I already understand.  And on the side of miracles and cures…that is not what I am expecting at this point.  Perhaps I am lacking the same complete faith that wrought miracles for my bishop, but I tend to live more on the realistic side of life; the side that seed good people suffering, and leaving this life without miracles, without being cured – as part of our earthly trials and human state.  I know that my bishop has good intents, he is a wonderful man and a loving and compassionate leader, but all I want to hear right now is, “I’m sorry, I am here for you, and I love you.”  (followed by a big hug)  Our ward mission leader, bless him, was awesome.  He didn’t know what to say, but just told me that if I weren’t a missionary he would give me a big hug. 

Saturday, March 29  

         Today is another day, another chance to move forward. I know that my family is out there continuing to love me and pray for me.  My ward family here is outstanding, and I have complete confidence that they will help me bounce back.  There is work to be done!

   ........ 2:00 p.m. …Well, crap. We are in the hospital right now. My diarrhea is worse, and there is blood.  This is nothing like I imagined my mission to be.  The good news is that I don’t have worms or a bacterial infection (as well I shouldn’t after the meds I have taken), but I have a tear from the weeks of pooping incessantly. This week is proving to be a killer.  I am praying for help, and I do fell strengthened, but there are just a lot of things to process and work through, which is hard when you are so far from your family. Sitting in a hospital is the worst waste of time ever.

         I keep replaying that short 25-minute phone call with my parents.  It was so strange to hear their voices. It was stranger to hear my mom delivering the news in a careful, practical, calm manner that only comes through years of training.  It was strange to hang up to once again feel that great disconnect that you feel from your family while you are on a mission. What a week.

Monday, March 31

I am doing a LOT better than on Saturday--we got back to work and had a few really testimony-building experiences of teaching and testifying.  Diarrhea has finally stopped!!!  I’m working through the feelings and am moving forward. Things are good when I am out working, walking, teaching, talking, and testifying, but the in-between moments sure are rough. I love you guys.   

The lost week...

Dear family and friends.

This is my catch-up week with journal entries.  I hope that my mom does not get tendonitis from typing all this stuff in. Yet another week has flown by.  In about 2 weeks, we have General Conference which is the Superbowl for missionaries.  This week was very hot, but the weather turned overnight and it is now a very comfortable 75 degrees with rain and over cast skies.  I will take the rain over the Rio sun any day of the week.  Last week was a hard week, but we worked hard and our bishop was happy with our work.

March 17

            We had a great family home evening with Al. and Jos. FHE was so much fun.  Carlos and Ros. Volunteered to help us out and we held the FHE in Al. garage.  He invited grandchildren and his neighbors to come.  We left a message of eternal families, using The Family: Proclamation to the World.  Jos. loved it!  Afterward, we played a cute get-to-know you game and everyone had a great time.  Sister R. made a delicious cake …It was a good day!

March 18

            I was sick today, so I ended up sleeping during most of our studies.  To my comps credit, she stayed focused and did her studies.  PROGRESS! After resting, I felt quite a bit better until we walked 45 minutes to our lunch appointment….only to have it fall through…then walked 45 minutes back to our apartment to eat ramon noodles.

            Sister Brown got her new companion, Sister Nob. who is from Uruguay and has a really heavy accent. I like her a lot. We also got a new district leader, Elder O.  who is also training for the first time this transfer.  He is visibly overwhelmed, but I really am a fan of him thus far.  He is a lot more respectful and level-headed with us, and he is demonstrating a lot of trust in our judgment.

            Tuesday evening we met with Irma V. who’s husband is not a member. We spent some time talking with her and getting to know her story, and we are going to have FHE there this week.  Even though that time didn’t count towards anything numbers wise, it was essential and beneficial so that we can know how to help her husband. I am learning that the work you report to your leaders, and the work that you actually do are very different. For example, on Tuesday, I focused on the fact that we found 2 new investigators and someone who committed to come to church.  But I left out the fact that we had done a lot of follow-up work, visited with part member families, and spent a lot of time talking with our ward mission leader.   

March 19

            We were rejected by just about everyone and we didn’t get into a single house today. Rough.  And we had a Baptist preacher try to get us to fight with him about Joseph Smith. He told us that we were going to Hell an that we should burn the Book of Mormon.  Rough. We had a woman stop us on the street afterwards and tell us that she was impressed by the way we responded to this pastor.  We maintained poise and respect and testified of what we knew to be true.  We talked with her some more, and now she is an investigator.   She is 45 years old and is separating from her husband.  She is a peacemaker and she has a lot of fear of what people will think and do if she starts going to the Mormon church. There is some heavy anti-mormonism down here.  There is even one church that teaches, “How to defend yourself against Mormons: top ten secrets: 1. Never talk to a Mormon alone. 2. Recite scriptures from the Bible. 3. Tell them that the Bible and only the Bible has gospel truths.

             It makes me think of 2 Nephi 29 – I am amazed at the limits that people put so easily upon God.  They firmly believe that the Bible has ALL that we need to know, implying that the heavens are sealed and that the Lord doesn’t talk to His people in these days.  This just isn’t true.  The heavens are not sealed, and the Lord continues to guide us in these perilous times through a living prophet – just as in times of old.  His poser is limitless and I am so grateful to have the continual guidance given to us by God through our living prophet.

March 20

            Woo, I am feeling TRUNKY.  I am missing my country right now.  (air conditioning, driving a car, drinking clean water that does not make you sick, etc.)  The U.S. really is a blessed country.  Sister Brown and I are coming up on our 9 month mark, and we are still together. It is a huge blessing for me.  She is a wonderful human being!

            My little filinha is doing well!  She is starting to be a lot more focused on the work, and we are getting along quite well. We have a new district leader, Elder O.  He is very you, but his is a good missionary and a good person.

            We got to teach Seminary today.  We taught about the Restoration.  I am very impressed by the youth of this church.  They are sharp, and are striving to do what is right. It gives me hope that despite an increasingly toxic environment, my children can grow up to be strong.

            After seminary we went to Al. for his 77th birthday party.  He is such a nice and funny little old man.  We finally felt that it was right to teach Jos. the Restoration and extend the baptismal invitation.  Everything went smoothly with our ward mission leader’s help (bless his hard working heart) and she said that she will read the Book of Mormon and pray to know if she should be baptized.  It was cool to see how much she loves and trusts us as servants of the Lord.  I think that is one of the reasons why missionaries have such strict rules.  Can you imagine if an investigator saw a missionary posting 1,000 selfies on FB, or speaking ill of another person?  It just wouldn’t match up with the disciples of Christ that we are striving to be.

March 21

             We had lunch with M. I love that little lady.  She is growing really well in the church, and is loving expanding her gospel knowledge.  We had an awesome lesson with Irma An. In which Sister R. and I explained very clearly about the tribe of Judah and and Joseph and the chronology of the Book of Mormon.  We taught about how the Book of Mormon and the Bible work hand-in-hand.  We were led by the spirit and ended up giving a lesson that just hit everyone of our investigator’s needs. 

March 22

            Highlight of the week: teaching L.(65) and his 2 daughters J.(12), and G(15).  This family is so prepared to hear our message.  We found them doing a street contact.  The girls were living with their Mom until she took them to a favela to live with her druggie boyfriend.  Their loving and faith filled Dad found out about it, and despite many risks, rescued his daughters.  When he arrived, they hadn’t eaten in 3 days and were living in fear of leaving the house.  Now, three years later, they are very sweet, educated, well-mannered girls.  They came to church on Sunday and loved it. They are also planning on attending early morning seminary (starts here at 7 a.m.) At tonight’s lesson, all 3 of them committed to baptism!  

March 23

            It rained hard.  We had a member baptism after church, then our lunch ran late, then bishop wanted to talk to us about this friend who is interested in the gospel., then we had our meeting with our ward mission leader, then we had ward council meeting.  Basically it was a great day for member missionary work, but we had very little time for proselyting! 

            We ended the day teaching Jos. She opened up a ton and told us of how she feels impure and unworthy to be in church because she can’t seem to forgive some server trauma that her son inflicted upon her and her husband.  We just listened , then testified, then listened some more.  She remarked how good it was to get things off her chest, and how she feels lighter when we are with her, or when she reads the Book of Mormon, or when she was at her husband’s baptism.  She is learning to feel the spirit in her life.            

            I don’t know why the Lord is continuing to work miracles in this area. I feel like there is so much more that I should be doing, and so much more humility that I should be developing.  I keep expecting things to get harder.  But it seems as though Heavenly Father just keep putting person after person in our path.  It is incredible.  I am in awe of His plan, power, and love.  I strive every day to pray, study, serve, and teach these people.

             Well. I love you guys.  I miss you loads, but it brings me a lot of peace to know that I will see you all again in this life and the next.  The gospel is true and it gives us strength and protection, purpose and direction.

Con Amor,

Sister Colvin

The eclectic post

This week, Taylor sent me the same journal entry that she did last week.....so all I have for updates are the comments made to me in our emails, and captions to photos.  I am sure that she will make up the difference next week. 

 Walking the streets of Rio

 HI MOM! This has been a great week, except for the BAD diarrhea I have right now, haha. Quote of the week (by Sister Brown): "I´m either constipated or have the runs. There just isn´t an in between"  I´m sick of hearing "drink coconut juice" or "drink more water" as a remedy for everything....I don´t have a fever, just upset stomach and lots of diarrhea. Sister Brown is feeling a little woozy and has a headache this morning, but I don´t know if she has any other symptoms. It could just be the RAPID change in weather that we´ve had--going from 100+ to about 75 overnight.

Oh man. I love 3 Nephi. I love the Book of Mormon! We got to teach parts of seminary TWICE this week and it was awesome! It was a goooood week down here.

We had a change of leadership and I feel like a huge weight has been taken off my back! I´m also learning to just do things the way that are effective regardless. It is all a good learning experience because it will not be the last time that I have to work in difficult circumstances.  I am settling into my job, and now that Sister Rosario is settling into the routine we´re having a lot more fun and things are a little more laid back.

Our FHE with Alcebiades last week

 

I would welcome any creative ideas for family home evenings? Especially simple and fun activities that we can do? Topics of particular interest are: temples and eternal families for older couples, and young families; and forgiveness and repentance for a variety of ages.

Antiga Alcebiades e Josefa <3

Lunch at Marcia´s!

Ramón

Our cute FHE with Eduardo and Jessica. The kids were SUPER cute, and when we pulled out the "necklaces", Guilherme yelled, "PEITOS PEITOS!" which is the equivalant of "BOOBS, BOOBS!" hahaaaaaaaaa! we all got a BIG laugh out of it.

SUPER cute kids!

"PEITOS PEITOS!"

Tal vez the most beautiful baptism I´ve had yet. I just love him!

Alcebiades´s baptism! Everyone in the picture is a non-member, minus Carlos, us, and Alcebiades!

Thank you Mom for my OCD tendencies.

This week we had another baptism. Do you remember the return missionary that I got so upset with?  His son was baptized and we had 3 nonmembers attend the service.  It was great!

Sorry for the incomplete update--I am getting lazy with writing in my journal because we are WIPED by the end of the day. It has been HOT down here until a day or so ago when it suddenly got very cold.  I will close with proof that I am capable of getting a tan.

My weird tan lines.

ADDENDUM:

Monday, March 17

Well shoot, another week just whizzed right on by.  It was Shark week for me…nuf said. Also it was 100 degrees plus weather and we had a string of rough lesson with stagnant investigators and there you have it.  Our poor District Leader got the worst of it.  He called to get our goals for the week and told me that I had to change my personal goals because I had lowered them from the pattern of excellence (after not hitting this goal…..EVER.)  He told me (fairly respectfully) that I need to maintain my faith and vision of what could happen.  I then went apecrap crazy on him about how leaders shouldn’t impose ridiculous numbers on missionaries.  I told him how setting dramatically unrealistic goals will lead to discouragement and apathy.  (think Mom rant X10, in Portuguese, on the phone.) To his immense credit, her responded incredibly well.  I remained pissy, then hung up, then felt terrible, then cried a lot, then spoke/ranted to myself in English, then my copm ran to get Sister Brown – “S. Colvin esta chorando e falcondo em Ingles bem rapido e isto NAO E NORMAL! Pode falar com ela, por favor?”

Sister Brown then came and patted my back until I calmed down a bit.  I then called Elder A. back and apologized. He actually was really sweet (really uncharacteristic) and shared that he had the same questions and doubts abut unrealistic goal setting.  I felt better afterwards. 

The highlight of the week was Al. baptism.  We did a lot of planning and it ended up just about perfect.  Jos. (his wife) said the closing prayer and it was so cute and heartfelt.  She thanked Heavenly Father for the “angels” that helped her husband be baptized – something that she has been praying for a LONG time (think 35+ years).  All of his daughters were there.  His baptism had 12 non-members present. It was awesome.  I sent a foto in for this week’s mission newsletter.  I got a call from the mission president congratulating us on our work, and giving us special permission to use a computer later in the week to send him the story so he can use it in training meetings.  ONLY one problem, it wasn’t us at all!  We just showed love and kindness to a family, and the Lord and Jos. did the rest.  I don’t like it when people associate miracle with missionaries. Hard work and being instruments in the Lord’s hands are a good thing to be a part of.

Getting back to work feels great!

Us with our AWESOME Ward mission leader and his wife!

My mission "daughter", Sister R.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

            Wow, time is really going by fast! This week has been really good.  Carnival ended and we’re starting to get back into our routine.  We’re continuing to work with Senhor A. And J. and also found several other families to teach.

Ot. and Jos.: Super humble older couple. Ot. was baptized a long time ago, but he went inactive and started drinking and smoking.  He is drunk a lot of the time, but he is a really kind man and everyone speaks well of him.  Jos. has a great desire to read, study, and change.  But it is complicated because she feels loyalty to her husband and doesn’t want to do things without him.  We are working on strengthening Ot.

Pa. and Cl.:  This is another part member family.  Cl. is inactive and her husband Pa. is not a member.  They are awesome people and their son recently returned from his mission, which is of course a huge help to us.  Their daughter recently became re-activated in the church!

Bar. and Ben.: This is and elderly Baptist couple.  Bar. already knows a lot about the church because he gets a Liahona every month and has read last year’s conference editions cover to cover several times. He received a Book of Mormon over 20 years ago and has kept it and read it all of these years.  What is holding him back?  Social fears and habits.  His wife has no desire to change religions and he is very faithful to her.   It is a difficult situation. 

Fer. and Adr.:  Fer. is inactive and his wife is active. We are working to help him remember his baptism and the importance of taking the sacrament each week. 

      It is a huge blessing to be able to have families to teach , but they are complicated.  It is very hard (nearly impossible) to stay within the 45 minute guidelines for teaching lessons.  Yesterday we spent 1 ½ hours teaching and listening to one family.  I was initially frustrated by going so long, but Sister R. helped me to remember that when we are teaching a family, we are essentially teaching two lessons because they are two people with very different needs.

Monday March 10, 2014

     Well, I am sad today. It is probably PMS, but it could have a lot to do with feeling like my individuality is being stifled by mission rules.  The ability to choose and use your free agency is weirdly restricted during a mission. It’s like people are trying to turn us into baptism-producing robotic cookie cutters.  I’ve mostly been able to take Uncle Mark’s salesperson advice especially with understanding leaders, and Dad’s advice to follow the rules, and Mom’s advice to use my unique gifts, BUT, it takes a lot more time and energy to do this.  I see most other missionaries falling into the “routine” and suppressing their personalities. It’s quite sad.
     I might also be sad because there is a garbage strike here and it literally STINKS.

Rio Garbage Strike

Here is a weekly recap:

Mon-Tues: We basically stayed in the whole day on Monday for Carnival and it SUCKED.  Satan works hard when we are not working hard.  On Tuesday we had one of our investigators drop us.  It was Sister R’s first heartbreak, but we ended up having a good discussion about it and it turned out to be a good learning experieince for her. She and I have had a lot of good fortune during our time together.  We have been part of two really beautiful baptisms. I have kept trying to keep things realistic and help her realize that missions rarely move this smoothly. Well, we got our dose of reality on Tuesday.

Wednesday:  We had a great lesson with Sh., then B.(a cute 12 year old), then Con. All of the lessons went well except the lesson with Con. which involved a lot of re-teaching of correct principles that were not previously understood.  Luckily, Sister R. was teaching really well and we actually ended up with a good lesson taught by the spirit.

            It was zone training today.  The theme was ????  I am praying to love and respect a LOT of leaders right now.

Thursday:  We had evaluation of the new missionaries in Andarai, which means waking up at 5 am and taking 2-3 hours of public transportation to Andarai.  I can’t complain too much because Elder Papworth’s area is 8 hours from Andarai!. We travele with Sister Conde and Sister Jamieson.  Sister J is still struggling with culture shock.  She is still in the “I’m stupid, everyone laughs at me, and I’ll never learn this language stage.” I tried to console her and assure her that EVERYONE passes through this phase.  It is rough for her right now.

            The training was pretty chill.  I got to play piano prelude music for an hour because people were late!  My arms hurt the next day (so out of piano shape), but it was totally worth it!

            I think that President Lima was having a rough day because he was very condescending to the American missionaries and their difficulties in speaking and teaching.  He legitimately laughed at them – something that I don’t remember him doing when I arrived.  That was discouraging even for me.

            We stopped by Al. house. She is the young woman who was recently baptized whose mother is suffering with cancer.  Her whole countenance has changed!  She went to the youth conference, made good friends, and she finished the Book of Mormon!  She read it cover to cover!  I love her story because none of her leaders ever believed that she would be active, but Sister S. and I did.  We prayed about her, and did all we could to show love and support.  We served and taught her Mom and then we figured out what was really holding her back from going to church – and that was not feeling socially accepted.  So then we brought 3 different youth to teach with us.  with friends to help her feel welcome, she hasn’t missed a Sunday. It was great to see how love and dedication on the part of the youth of the church can make such a big difference.  It makes me really really happy, deep in my soul, to see the changes that good friendships bring about in people’s lives. 

            Tonight we taught a lesson that was an answer to prayer. We taught Senhor A. and Dona Jos. I sure love them.  They are the old-fashioned type with rich family values.  They don’t like alcohol or loud music.  They also have a profound love and devotion to their family. Senhor’s life has already been changed and improved through the gospel.  That is why I am here on a mission.  He has expressed many time his gratitude to us for the sacrifice we are making to help people like him. We have also been able to reach his wife.  She was timid and closed at first, but after 2-3 visits, she has seen that we genuinely love her family and are concerned about them.  I have faith that with time and patience and love, she too will be baptized.  I have developed a real love for these people…pretty sure that I never REALLY loved anyone outside of my family before my mission. It is cool to see an emotional and spiritual maturation of my capacity to love others take place on my mission.  

Some planners that we made during Carnival!

Carnival, Cooped up, and Crazy

Monday March 3, 2014

Dear Family,

         I am becoming a terrible journal keeper and letter writer.  Right now it is Carnival here in Brazil, which means a LOT of booze, transvestites, loud music, and fireworks.  But for missionaries it means being cooped up in your house.  I

am going CRAZY with all this down time.  I am definitely wired for the work.  I think that past few days I’ve felt a little bit of what a newly returned missionary feels – a lack of purpose, guile for not keeping mission hours, and gaps of time that you just don’t know what to do with.  Sister R and I have been studying a lot more together, but there in only so much that you can do before your butt and mind go completely numb. 

         I am really enjoying my many treats from the packages you sent me.  I especially love the black sandals (the ones that I told you not to get, but you sent anyway.) My feet have very weird tan lines all over them.  I have a tan on my lower legs for the first time in my entire life!  When I get home I would be terrified of what I would look like in the pool with all my weird tan lines. (She’ll have to work out in her trisuit for a while)  I am also really appreciating the ziplock baggies that you sent.  Our house no longer has filthy cockroaches, but it has an ant problem!  The baggies protect everything!

Week in Review

Monday, 24 Feb

         We had a great P-day mostly because I got to play the pianos.  I love the William Joseph arrangements that you sent btw, especially the Come thou Fount, God be With You, and With Royal Praise.  I think that the Royal Praise one is actually from a classical piece but I don’t remember the name.  (She is right …it is Jupiter Bringer of Jollity by Gustav Holst.)  I played them at S.’s baptism and Carlos and others seemed moved.  It is a blessing to be able to invite the spirit through music.

         We held a FHE with a recently returned missionary named Paulo H.  He is tall, dark, and handsome, and speaks English…kill me now. We taught his inactive sister and his nonmember father.  Sister R and I taught well together and the spirit testified.  His sister recommitted herself to activity so that was a great night for us. 

Tuesday

          We got to teach Senhor A. again and he is doing really well, but he is a frail 76 year old which means that we need to explain and re-explain things and then ask questions to make sure that he understands us. 

Wed-Thursday

         We had a division with the Sister Training Leaders, which was stressful to prepare for, but ended p being awesome.  Sister R. stayed in Santa Magarida and I got a break from being a trainer!  I go to learn with an experienced companion, Sister Santos.  I had forgotten the blessings of having a seasoned companion.  She exuded a quiet, calm, and confident peace.  She expresses all of the doctrines of Christ with clarity and patience.  I learned a LOT with her.  She also walks much faster than I can keep up with.  But, other than my achy muscles, my division felt like a spa day for me…haha.  It is so much easier to breath and relax as a junior companion.  We are striving to work on being equally yoked, but it always seems like the senior/trainer is pulling the heavier load.  I need to learn how to be more patient and give Sister R more responsibilities. 

         Training is a lot easier the second time around.  I feel like with Sister S. it was just a series of screw up and lessons learned the hard way.  I am super grateful for Sister S’s sweet, patient, funny nature.  I’ve been pensive the past few days thinking about the first half of my mission and what the future holds for me. Some moments I have complete certainty that the Lord is pleased with where I am, but then there are other moments when I feel like (to quote Dad) a spiritual amoeba.  I have been learning the same lessons over and over again the biggest of which are the lessons in humility and patience.  I like the person that I am becoming though I don’t like all the imperfections that I still have.  I am excited to enter the next phase of my life.  I can’t wait to be a wife and a mother, but I also can’t wait to continue my education.  The future is exciting!

"Let's leave the Elders alone Sister."

         Sister R is talented but struggling to get immersed in the work.  She often talks about home/fiancé/worldly things when we should be concentrating on our work.  I do my best to pull a Liz Lemon and be the wet blanket.  Anyway, back to the comp.  She is from a well-off Brazilian family, worked for her father and has a lot of material blessings.  Sound familiar?)  I think that our common egocentricity is impeding our capacity to work with true unity, but we are working on it.  I am starting to recognize the things I can learn from her and vice-verse. 

         She has an interesting story.  Her family was super active but then after a pretty tragic circumstance, her entire family went inactive.  At 15, she was attending the Baptist church and was not living the standards of the church.  Her brothers all had babies out of wedlock.  Then something changed and Sister R started coming back to church.  After some time, she brought her brothers back to church and they have since been married in the temple to their wives.  Her father served a mission in Rio back in the day, so she is hoping that her experiences will help her father to return to activity. She has a great understanding of the doctrines and we love to read and discuss the scriptures together.

         I’m starting to recognize that most Brazilians have has a major tragedy in their lives, such as: a baby dying in infancy, a parent dying at a young age, not enough food to eat, etc.  It is interesting how they still suffer and feel pain, but move on and talk abut he situation as if it is an every day occurrence.  I feel quite out-of-place in these conversations because, besides the whole Bailey situation, I have lived a really happy family life.  You can’t just fit in by saying, “oh yeah, I know how you feel, when I was 16 my fancy pony died.”

Thursday (Happy Birthday MOM!)

         We visited Senhor A. and it became very clear that the teaching process with him would be a little slower because of his age and ability to understand.  We decided, after praying about it, to change his baptismal date to the 15th of March….super chill, right?  Well, our district leader was not happy with us.  When I responded, I purposefully stifled my hot-headedness knowing that he had responded the same way to Sister B. the previous week.  I calmly explained that we were considering the needs of our investigator, and that we had prayed about it and both felt like it was the right thing to do.  Well, the DL was not listening.  SOOO, then I pulled my angry protective momma bear and ended up kind of yelling at him.  NOT my best moment, but I did get my point across and he stopped questioning my judgment.  I just hate it when leaders try to bully you out of following what you know is the right course.  I am not going to become obsessed with numbers and baptisms.  It is just not right.  (Side note: I did end up apologizing on Friday morning for my temper.)

Happy Birthday Sister Brown!

Friday         Sister B. had her 20th birthday.  We ended up making a cake, some sweets, and other goodies.  It was also the last day of Carnival so we enjoyed our view of the roads filled with transvestites and loud vulgar music from the safety of our double locked doors and high walls.  I guess that Carnival in Santa Margarida is pretty dull compared to other parts of the city. Anyway, our humble birthday party was pretty fun. Sister B. is a cutie.  I have a feeling that she will be transferred this next week.  I am pretty sure that I will finish another transfer here to finish the training of Sister R. and then I will be headed somewhere else.  I have been in the same area for my entire Brazilian portion of my mission.

Saturday

         We cleaned the chapel to do some service for the ward.. There was only one other person there so we had to work our tails off! The rest of the day was pretty chill. 

Sunday

         We had a great Sunday for reactivation.  S.’s mom came again, Paulo’s sister came and so did a brother who hasn’t been to church in over 6 years.  So that was pretty neat.  Mar. got a calling and so did May.  Both are recent converts who are growing in the gospel.  May. Was called to be the Young men’s secretary.  Now he will not have time to go out with us to teach, but it is really great that he is moving on to the next step of learning and serving.  He is also getting ready to go and do baptisms in the temple.  It has been really great to be in one place long enough to see the growth in the gospel beyond baptism. Some of the other converts who are doing well include. E. is a super solid young man.  He is attending seminary and all of his youth meetings.  J. held her first FHE last week and she is starting temple prep classes. S. is still radiant from her baptism and is attending all of her meetings with enthusiasm.  Unfortunately, G. is not doing well.  Please keep him in your prayers. It is a blessing to be a part of these people’s lives and makes me really really happy.

         On another note: Missions are hard, really really hard.  There are many things that you just don’t learn before serving. I think there should be a section on my blog outlined, “Things they don’t teach you in the MTC, or What to do when…” 

·      A woman tells you she’s a prophet and she is here to re-build Noah’s ark

·      You knock on a door and a 5 year old yells back, “ My Mom can’t come to the door, she has diarrhea.”

·      Two women stomp on the ground and insist that your church is a brainwashing cult.

·      Your leaders are telling you different things than the Lord is.

·      You have 3 different investigators in the same house, all on different levels, and you have to teach them at the same time.

·      People are more interested in the fact that you are an American than that you are a missionary.

·      You are hating on the country where you are serving and someone asks you what is better – Brazil or America?

·      A drunken man proposes to you and wants to take you to Africa to meet his family.

·      Your companion just so happens to have menstrual cramps and headaches every time weekly planning comes around.

·      You’re contacting a referral and you can see into the house…where there are several completely naked people.

I sure do love you guys.  I think of you and pray for each of you often.  I hope that you are feeling the Lord’s influence guiding your life and decisions.  Spokane looks beautiful and perfect to me.  It is so weird to think of times and seasons passing by which a lot of the time days are very much the same down here.  I am almost to my halfway point.  Before you know it, it will be May and my birthday and our MOTHER’S DAY SKYPE!!!  I am happy and working hard, but still very much looking forward to being back with you.

Con Amor,

Sister Colvin 

A weird fruit here in Brazil that you peel open and eat the inside.

Catch a husband cake -- made by a sister in the ward.  I had a "few" pieces!