October 28, Week 4 in Santa Margarita
Dear loved ones,
P-Days are the best. I love hearing from all of you. Thank you for your love and support.
Even the emails detailing the riveting routine of scooping horse poop and doing
yard work make me smile. I miss
it. The work here is essential in many ways, but I miss working with all of you
– cherish those moments together, especially you Levi! You will be away before
you know it and you’ll realize just how important those small things are.
The Language barrier is so hard for missionaries, especially
when you have grown up in the gospel and have prepared for this moment all of
your life…and you CAN’T help people or contribute due to language. It’s getting better, but I’m intensely
aware that I sound like a 6 year old much of the time, and my broken ½
sentences often don’t make sense.
But, I do know that I’m getting better at body language and the language
of the Spirit because I’m able to connect with some of our investigators maybe
definitely not through the spoken word, but through human contact and the help
of the Lord.
One thing that we are working on with members here is doing
“contacts”- talking to a stranger, telling them you’re a member of the church,
and then inviting them to church, sharing a short gospel truth, or inviting
them to your house to meet the missionaries. 90% of the time the answer is no, but the 10% that it is yes is awesome. We do over 200 contacts a week, and
from that we get 20-ish new investigators a week…from that, about 2-3 may
progress. It’s a process, but I
know that if you pray for chances, recognize them, and step a little out of
your comfort zone by doing 10 contacts a week, you’ll be led to those select few
that are prepared. If every
member did this, there would be a lot more people to teach, and a lot more people
with the blessings of eternity.
I am learning to roll with the punches. I’m finding myself content about 70%,
happy 20%, worried 5%, and really sad 5% of the time….so things aren’t too
bad. I have already cried, but
usually just in our house. It’s
easy to shed a few tears at the end of an exhausting day. Thank you for writing the line “ don’t
diminish your own self worth just because you are in a place of humility right
now.” Sometimes it’s hard to
remember that the Lord called me to Rio because He knows I can and will be an instrument
for good, and He’s equipped me with tools to push forward – “perseverar ate o
fim” or endure to the end. I read
an awesome talk by Bednar this week about the enabling power of the
Atonement. Grace is to make bad
men good and allow good men to become better. This mission is a refining process
so I can learn to utilize the Atonement.
I’ve thought a lot about the lyrics from “You Raise Me Up” this week:
When
I am down, and oh, my soul so weary
When
I am weak, and my heart burdened be…
Then
I am still, and wait her in the silence
Until
you come, and sit a while with me.
You
raise me up, so I can stand on mountains,
You
raise me up, to walk on stormy seas,
I
am strong, when I am on your shoulders,
You
raise me up , to more than I can be.
Mom and Dad, you’ve always lifted and encouraged me. Now, so far from home, I’m learning to
be lifted, comforted, and edified by another loved one. I’m thankful to be able
to learn and develop my relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
Weekly Update:
Monday October 21
We
had an awesome P-day. Sister Z taught with power and authority and we really
felt like the week was going to be a week of miracles. We taught L, who is a
sweet 19 year old with a 2 year old daughter. They live in a poor area, and her mom doesn’t like Mormons
very much. But L is sweet. We
contacted her on the street and she was warm and welcoming. She accepted the
invitation to go to church and on Monday we invited her to be baptized which
she accepted if she receives an answer to her prayers. She asks good questions
and is really attentive during our lessons. I hope she has the bravery and
courage to act on her answer.
We
also taught J, who is very pregnant. It was a quick street lesson, but I was
able to teach and testify about the Restoration of the gospel. We also taught a few other people that
day. We took M, a 22 year old
member with us for the day. She is a little bit shy about sharing her
testimony, but once you break down the initial barrier, she is so outdoing and
had a powerful testimony. We
started a little challenge between the members and we have them to the
contacts! The missionaries help
take some of the pressure off. M.
was nervous and didn’t want to do them at first, but ended up getting 5
contacts for us to teach!
Tuesday, October 22
We
returned to L’s house, taught about the BOM, and committed her to a baptismal
date. We then sprinted back into
town, caught a bus, then (literally) ran to our district meeting. I really
like our district leader, Elder VW, but sometimes this mission gets caught up with
numbers and deadlines/dates rather than souls and needs of individuals. I
suppose that is the way in many missions.
Goals become less of “which member could help so and so to progress and
have a friend” to more of “how can we get 15 member present lessons this week?”
It’s a little bit bothersome sometimes, especially because our goals are the
same every week – rather than goals made by an evaluation of past performance
and careful consideration of what would help the area more.
Wednesday, October 23
We
had a good lesson with R, a referral from Rl. R is a 48 year old woman and after the lesson with her Sister Z
challenged her to baptism and she chose a date!
P, the mom of a recent convert, hasn’t been very open to
missionaries in the past, but she’s finally allowing us to teach her. We were able to read and discuss Alma
32 with her. I’ve gotten very familiar with this chapter, and I could feel the
Holy ghost bring things to memory and help explain how we can develop faith. I
felt like my testimony helped her and that she could understand what I was
saying.
 |
| Smooshed in a bus on our way to get visas finished. The Visa process never ends! |
Thursday, October 24
This
was a travel and business day. We
went to the mission office and police stations to complete paperwork for out
visas. We left at 9:30, caught a
bus, rode for 30 ish minutes, then rode on a loud, hot, smelly, rattly train
for 1 ½ hours, then rode on a metro for another hour, walked 15 minutes, and
finally arrived at the mission office in Flamengo! WOW, that part of Rio is a LOT different than Santa
Magarida. I think it’s pretty comparable to a normal downtown of a medium-big
city in the US, but with terrible sanitation. I still don’t quite understand why there are rivers of sewage
everywhere.
Once
at the office we left our companions behind, and all of the Americans (and one
Colombian) rode another 45 minutes to the police station. Man it was good to see all of them,
especially Elder N! Seeing him was almost like seeing a member of my family. Anyways, I traveled with Sister S and
we were able to speak and understand each other in Portuguese. She grew up in Sau Paulo until she was
8 so her skills are pretty awesome.
We spent the next 6 hours at the station, but the time passed quickly as
I talked with everyone. My
language skills are coming along rapidly and I am comfortable doing contacts
and other small tasks – much of which I attribute to the Lord and to my
all-business companion. Hearing of
the challenges of others and how they are struggling through the same things I
am struggling through really helped me to recognize the positive aspects of my
companionship and how much Sister Z has helped me to grow. On a mission you often refer to your
trainer as your “mother”. When I
was serving in Rapid City, I thought this was silly because Sister B didn’t
feel like my “mother”. We served
right along side each other. But here, Sister Z really fills the role of a
mother to me. She helps me speak and understand customs; she grabs my arm so I don’t get hit by one of the many stupid
cars here; she gives me small tasks and leads by example; she explains and re-explains
things to me; and (like my own mother) tells me to suck it up and get to
work…haha! The motherly kindness
and compassion/sympathy is a little lacking, but Sister Z has already helped me
immensely in this mission – something that I was only able to recognize as I
talked with other newbies.
Side note: When we
were in he mission office, Elder N and I noticed a package that was like
3X as big as any other package and it was for Elder S…what the heck?! He’s not
even in Brazil yet! That kid Elder
gets so many packages!
Other side note: I love love love Sister B, and feel so
blessed to have her in the same house!
Being able to have an outlet has been critical for both of us, and it
feels amazing to have someone who understands the cultural shock that we’re
experiencing down here.
Friday, October 25
We
taught a bunch of people, but C is the one that stands out to me. She is the
woman with lupus and she was a referral form a member. Oh C….I know she feel the
spirit, but for some reason she either can’t recognize it or won’t admit that
she’s getting an answer. Sister Z
challenged her to say a kneeling prayer at the end of the lesson. C prayed
and afterwards we waited kneeling for a minute or so. The spirit was strong and
when C looked up, Sister Z and I could both see a change in her eyes, but
then she quickly dismissed it.
Ugghh. Cm’on! The Spirit is
not something to be afraid of.
We
also had a zone fast on Friday….that was long, but luckily the Lord blessed us
with cool weather, a breeze, and lots of teaching without a lot of walking!
Miracles.
We had weekly planning and at the end of the planning we
always do companion inventory. PMG
details doing companion inventory very clearly – talking about goals, strengths
of your relationship, and talking about weaknesses or things that me be
impeding you from working in unity.
Companion Inventory has always been a positive experience for me…but
here it is VERY different. I spent
a good amount of time trying to explain to Sister Z what a “relationship” is
and expressing how it is important to look at our strengths and positives. Sooooo I thought that she understood me
(actually I am pretty sure that she did), so then following the guidelines I
asked, “What do you think some of our strengths are?” to which she replied with
a long silence and then, “contacts”.
........What about our relationship? “um nothing. Our relationship is bad.” Uhhh, okay. I then probed a little farther because our relationship is
really NOT bad, and it continues to grow every day. I then discovered that she
compares herself to everyone else and if things are not perfect, then they are
bad. This goes for relationships,
baptisms, goals, etc…uh. That’s
really not a healthy way of thinking.
I went on to express how I don’t think that our relationship is bad
because we are getting better every day and that is what this life is about. I
don’t think it had much of an affect on her mentality, but at least we know
where the other is coming from a bit more. I am finding peace from looking to the future and focusing
on the positive, and she is making herself miserable by perseverating on all of
the things that didn’t go perfectly. As such, I haven’t gotten any “atta girls”
or words of approval from her. I am learning to give myself pats on the back
for doing the things that are outside of my comfort zone because I don’t ever
hear it from another source down here.
Even the smallest compliment or expression of encouragement can go a
long ways.
Saturday October 26
We
taught L again and helped her o recognize the Spirit. We also had an awesome
lesson with our bishop and R & G.
Sister Z and I got the impression to be quiet and let him teach. He taught with great power and
clarity. G committed to read and
pray about the Book of Mormon.
So
that night I had a strong impression o visit a street contact who lives a long
ways away…don’t know why. But
Sister Z trusted me and we walked with sore knees and fatigued legs to this
person’s house. We didn’t end up
teaching her, but we miraculously had 6 lessons with a member present that
night and we were able to do all of our contacts and return to our house on
time. It was maybe not the miracle we had envisioned, but it was a pretty huge
blessing. So follow prompting!
Even though we returned with sore aching bodies we were filled with thanks.
Sunday, October 27
Well,
Sundays are rough I think it’s because my whole life Sundays have been a day to
be with family and rest from our labors, and here it is all about work, ALL.
DAY. LONG. We walked to L’s house
to pick her up before church, but she was sleeping…we talked with her mom, who
didn’t seem to thrilled to see us…so that was a let-down. Then zero of the people we’ve been
teaching came to church, so that was a bummer. On a positive note, I got to play the piano for sacrament
and that was a huge blessing.
That brings me up to date. Missions are hard. The difference
in culture is hard. But, I know that life is about persevering and finding
strength and peace in the Lord. This can only be done through “seeking the
good” and looking for positives that the Lord has blessed us with. I am
grateful to be here, to be stretched, yanked, pulled, and tried in so man
ways. This church is true. The
Atonement is powerful. Christ’s
enabling power of grace allows us to become more that we could ever be on our
own. I love you all. Thank you for
your love, thoughts, and prayers.
Sister Colvin
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