Shark Week

Monday October 14

Dear family and blog readers,

One of the cooler days in Rio.

I try to be as honest and candid with these letters as possible so that furture missionaries may be able to understand the hardships that come with choosing to serve a mission…something that I didn’t really hear or understand very well before serving this mission.  Every . Day. is Hard. You will never feel more inadequate, stupid, selfish, or exhausted (physically, emotionally, and spiritually.) BUT, you will also be in an environment where you will learn and grow more than ever before. You will be trusted by the Lord with a great responsibility, and with His help, you can and will succeed.

Down to realness details…

Point #1:… (warning for the squeamish, it must be shark week for Sister Colvin)….

Menstruating on a mission, SUCKS! The very moments when you want to curl up in a ball, your are forced to talk to 50 new people a day. When you don’t want to talk to anyone, you have to speak openly in broken Portuguese and overcome misunderstandings.  When you are grumpy and crampy and bloated, you have to walk for 7 hours, smile, and spread the gospel.  It, SUCKS!  The language barrier is rough enough, but when you are trying to explain that you really can’t wait another 2 hours to go to the bathroom (for what should be obvious reasons) and your companion tells you to hold it, well your crazy monthly hormones might lead you to feel resentful and picked on….it’s rough.

Point #2: You will feel stupid.  It is a given.  I feel extremely inadequate and insufficient with the language, and I often wonder what the heck I am doing here. The language and cultural barriers are huge. I feel like all I know how to say are things like, “I need this, I have pain, we should do this, I need to pee, etc…” I feel the tension within my companionship from misunderstanding and I feel myself becoming more and more introverted. I can also feel my spirit of adventure waning.  Everything is extremely intimidating and I am constantly being thrust outside of my comfort zone! There is definitely a fear of opening your mouth.  I have always felt so comfortable and confident with spoken words, and it’s difficult to feel so broken and inadequate with this language.  That being said, I can recognize that I am improving and getting better at some things and I know that I can do this. I try to turn to the scriptures during discouraging times and remember that Christ has felt everything I have felt and much more.  It’s definitely a growing experience and I am being shoved through this refiner’s fire. It’s hard to relax and roll with the punches, especially with my control-freak tendencies, but I am learning.  Slowly…Very slowly. The whole patience thing is coming along really well though!

Point #3: Being a junior companion in a foreign country is frustrating.  In Rapid City we shared all responsibilities, so it was easy to have a job, make a plan, and feel useful.  Here, not so much.  I finally asked to start taking addresses of contacts and organize the area book.  My senior companion very reluctantly obliged. It’s impossible to work if you don’t have a job and can’t teach or speak (which is our #1 responsibility.)

Point #4: You will realize just how cushy our life in the USA is.  Simple things like sanitizing spray or printing off emails are a foreign concepts among the missionaries here.  I try to be sensitive about money, but I am not shy about spending 30-40 reais (15-20$) on groceries a week.  They just don’t spend money. Which I think doesn’t make sense because it is our money that we earned to pay for our mission and we need to eat. Different culture!

Walking the hills...all...day......long!

This is where we teach!

Some things that I have learned this week, and answers to questions that have been specifically asked:

1. The son of my bishop (she must be learning some Portuguese because in English we say, my bishop’s son) is serving in Fortaleza and living with Garrison! Small world and yet another blessing of our inspired calls.
2. The peanut butter that Sister C loaded me up with in Rapid City has been a HUGE blessing. I think that I have gone through ½ of one already!
3. Mom, I loved the seminary BoM handouts and stickers that you sent!  Please send more.
4. Acai is amazing. It is soooo good. 

   

   Acai berries.

5. Everything sticks together here…my breath strips, envelopes, paper. …gotta love the humidity.
6. Brazilians might be tone deaf.  Sunday hymns definitely have a different feel to them.
7.  There is a “Dia de Criancas” every October 12th here.  It is essentially a “Father’s Day”, but reversed.  Parents go all out, rent buildings, blast music, buy a bunch of balloons, and give gifts to their kids.  There is also a lot of alcohol involved, so this past weekend was interesting.
8. Computer keyboards are very different and I haven’t had enough time on them to learn to type in Portuguese.
9. Music that you hear in the streets is mostly American artists blasting every where. It is obnoxious! Seriously, it is everywhere we go!  It is hard to feel the spirit when J. Beebs is blasting!  My housemates (except for Sister B) have about 30 songs total of peppy versions of primary songs, just one step up from Disney tunes at the MTC. 
10. Dominant Smell: A combination of garlic, cooking meat, dog poop, or some other kind of poop, and garbage.
11. Transportation: All walking.  My back and my knees are starting to bother me, especially my back.  There is no way that I could do this amount of walking without my backpack, even though I pack really light.  If an appointment falls through, we can literally be walking for 7 hours straight.  My knees hurt if we walk a lot of hills.  I try to explain to Sister Z that we need to be a little bit careful with our bodies no so that we can continue to work more later, but she just pushes through the pain, and I feel like a whiny achy American.  She already had what sounds like ankle bursitis though. BUT, she is tough and a very hard worker!

There are some crazy lessons taught in this mission…one time we were teaching a lady who was basically yelling at us, there are lots and lots of flea ridden emaciated animals here, and often the person you are teaching is not sober. We have taught in houses that have been 95 degrees and the floor has been literally covered in cigarettes.  We have been in places where there is a strong smell of feces and urine….but still we teach and we testify (mostly Sister Z teaches and I nod my head and try to smile at socially appropriate times. Haha) Last week we contacted 254 people – meaning we contacted them and shared some part of the Preach My Gospel lessons with them, or we invited them to church. This work is hard.  The adjustment is really, really hard.  Like compared to about 10 failed National “B” Exams, 5 Lile breakups, and 3 senior recitals all bunched into one and thrown at you before you have had the time to condition, prepare, or fully train yourself. I know that it is hard for everyone.  Sister B has helped me a lot. 

I try not to think of home or family too much because I get very emotional and I am already shedding enough tears of frustration and exhaustion…haha.  But, I love you and I want to thank you so much for the many things that you have sacrificed and provided for me through the years. 

Sister Colvin

P.S. BTW, everything is MUCH better this week because Shark Week (what I have dubbed my week of menstruation) is finished! We had some miracles and awesome moments. It is great, I will write about it for you to read next week! Sorry about the delay.  Also...it is starting to get HOT here. I think it hit 104 yesterday. I am loving having my Costco skirts and Walmart t-shirts. I may look like someone else's grandma (my own grandma's are too hip to qualify), but I am comfortable. Also...the sandal Jambu's are the BEST. No foot pain! No sweaty feet! A huge blessing! 

Sister M.S. make a delicious b-day cake for our district leader!