ROUGH start

                                                                                                                       October 7, 2013

I emailed you this morning but was unable to read or print or send photos due to time constraints! So, I am going to try this method of handwriting in more detail and then sending a photo of my handwritten letter the following p-day.  Hopefully you can read these (then Mom can transcribe them for the blog.)

Okay, so more details on my first week in Rio: My first few days were really really rough.  My companion's patience was tried as we both attempted to communicate...rough. We would go to lunches at member's house and I would have NO idea what they were asking or saying. This was so frustrating at first because I want to so badly be able to connect with people and discern how we can help them...but you can't do that when you don't know what is going on.  I've gotten to the point now where I can laugh at my mistakes, be humble enough to admit I don't understand even the simple things, and try to speak as much as I know.  Sometimes SZ and I will be talking to someone (ie. she talks, I observe), and my brain suddenly checks out as I realize that I don't understand ANYTHING that people are saying. haha.  The language barrier is lot easier when you can laugh at your inability....all I can do is laugh.  I'm learning.

My language skills are progressing at this pace.

I found myself often feeling completely emotionally overwhelmed by everything new, emotionally disconnected because of the language barrier, and I found myself with many questions and doubts.  "Holy crap, what am I doing here?!  Why did I have to get my visa so fast?! I miss the cushiness of the states!  THERE ARE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE (in stark contrast to South Dakota).  I can't speak. I can't communicate..maybe I should just go home, I'll never feel this burden lighten.  Why was I called HERE?"

Terrible thoughts, terrible questions, but I think they are a necessary part of any adjustment period - so long as you keep pushing forward, which I am doing! I have already learned so much about how to observe and love without using many words. It takes a lot of work, and it's hard to look outside of myself when I am feeling overwhelmed, but I think one of the biggest reasons I was sent here is to learn how to be less selfish.  I'm such a naturally selfish person! It's so bad!  Sometimes I just forget to remember that other people have different feelings and thoughts.

But yeah, this is a very different culture.  They're so blunt, and talk abut the "rich American" right in front of my face!  It really irked me at first, but I'm learning the customs and learning how to joke about my heavy bags and awesome backpack.  (side note:people still use backpacks for day-to-day tracting and then take side-bags to training meetings and zone conferences and such.  I ADORE my backpack, and I am going to continue using it for day-to-day tings, otherwise I'm fairly certain I would have back problems with as much walking as we do.)

Healthwise, I am dong great. I bought earplugs in rapid City because Sister B snored, and they have been a lifesaver here!  I've been sleeping really well, and these beds are pretty comfy.  My feet are also doing really well, and I'm glad we spent the money on good shoes.  We walk and run (yes, Sister Z literally runs!) a LOT.  Our area is not all that flat so it could be hard on the feet and knees to walk/run 10 miles/day in church shoes.  But thanks to researching good shoes, I haven't had any foot or knee pain.  I have been told that missionaries have lots of problems with their knees here, so I have been doing some knee exercises that I learned from my physical therapy classes.  I think that the exercises are helping to strengthen my knees and prevent problems for me.

Yesterday I learned an important lesson: Sister Z is an awesome teacher and works very hard, but when we are in the house, we have a few problems.  SB and I also had a few times when we had difficulty with obedience, but for the most part we were really good especially with bedtime and wake-up time.  Not so much here... So yesterday(actually backing up a bit-Saturday was rough because Sister Z didn't really talk or communicate with me at all.) I addressed these concerns in what I thought was a correct, culturally acceptable direct Brazillian manner.  It turns out that Bolivians aren't quite as direct as Brazilians, and they are pretty firey at times. I've never understood so much Portuguese in a sequence before as I did when SZ let me know what she was thinking! Oh man, she was so mad!  I quickly realized that, with my limited vocabulary, I had not expressed myself very well, and she felt attacked. I tried to express my appreciation for her and all the things I like about her, but she didn't want to be consoled.  AHHHHH!  I was freaking out!!! We both were frustrated.  Then a miracle happened that can only be explained as a gift from the Holy Ghost.  I felt prompted to pull my chair next to her, extend an arm of love, apologize, and express the deep feeling of my heart.  The words flowed through me in a way that I have never before felt.  Hard feelings dissolved as we spoke heart to heart about our fears, feelings, and desires.  This whole process lasted about an hour and a half, and though we didn't finish our studies, I learned a far more important lesson of humility and love.

Gringo day for General Conference!!!

This past General Conference (which we watched in ENGLISH - hallelujah!), Ulysses Soares spoke of how subduing pride and avoiding contention in the first step on the road to meekness.  He urged us to remember the life and example of Christ.  Wouldn't is be annoying to have many people reject you? Wouldn't it be easy to think only of ourselves if we were suffering intense pain?  If people spit on you, would you want to serve and heal their sons and daughters?  And yet, through every experience, as David Bednar said, "Christ turns outward when others would turn inward." It is so easy to turn inward, but as I strive to look outward, the Holy Ghost fills my heart with thoughts and directions.  It is really awesome.

I hope that you were able to watch all sessions of conference.  It was awesome for me.  On Saturday there were 5 American missionaries shoved in a closet-like room all huddled around a small computer screen.  The speakers were very quiet and there was music blasting in the building next to the church, so we had the door and windows shut so we could hear.  We all leaned in close and strained to hear the speakers.  It was remarkable.  Because we had to work so hard to hear, the messages filled our hungry souls.  Though we had to blast the AC during the hymns (yeah, AIR- CONDITIONING in the church buildings!)It was an awesome conference and a cool experience.  On Sunday, we had our District Leader's companion - Elder A, go bold on the stake clerk to let us use a TV screen with better speakers and more room.  The clerk didn't want to let us use the TV, but this Elder was like, "if you were in America, wouldn't you want to be able to hear and understand conference?!" So, on Sunday we were able to hear and understand conference!

Our Zone in Campo Grande

Our District is as follows:
Elder VW (Awesome DL) comps with Elder A (really really kind Brazilian).
Sister M S (27 years old from Fortaleza) comps with Sister  B (19 year old sweetheart with super curly hair...we could be twins.) Sister  Z (20 year old Bolivian, 7 months in Brazil) comps with me (gringo, rich American, super white, speaks no Portuguese, haha!)

Sister B..my English speaking lifeline!

That's all for this week, I love you loads and I am so grateful for a righteous, covenant-making family.  Boys, hold strong to the iron rod! I love you, Amo voces muito!