Beyond Tired.

Broken last pair of shoes.

October 20, 2014

            Today was just one of those “I really miss home and the luxury of home” kind of p-days.  It was Brazilian labor day today which means that absolutely nothing was open.  We have several errands to run, but weren’t able to do anything – including buy groceries.  So I had popcorn and eggs for lunch because that is all that food that we have left.  Highlight of the day was when sweet Sister Burris conference called me and we talked for 1.2 an hour.  She wanted to know how the interview went (that she spent countless hours practicing with me for), and how my family is doing.  I just love her.  I feel so isolated from other missionaries in Santa Cruz, and sometimes I forget that with technology, my mission friends are really not that far away.  I am so very grateful that she called  - you just never know the effect that a simple gesture of love and concern can have on someone. It made all the difference for me to be able to speak freely with this friend that I love so dearly, and helped me remember that I am NOT alone in this trial.  I have many people praying for me and my family, including my skinny sweet American ex-companion, Sister B.

October 21, 2014

            Today was a great day. We didn’t get lost on our way to and from district meeting! I really love our district.  Our zone leaders are just hilarious and dedicated and hard working.  Elder Morais (the really adorable young Brazilian) is really good at working with sisters. He knows how to help us develop the faith and hope needed to keep going. Their phone calls really help to keep us going when things get tough. 

Awesome Zone

            Tonight we had a great night of following the Spirit. We taught L., who is really open and ready to listen to our message.  We found her by knocking doors.  Actually we walked by her house several times without ever knocking.  We were about to leave her street to go and knock on other doors, when we both felt that we should go back and knock on her door.  She welcomed us so warmly and invited us to come back.  Today when we sat down with her she explained how we had come into her life at exactly the right time.  Six years ago she lost her 14 year old daughter during a risky heart surgery, and recently she has been missing her.  Her 6 year old son is scheduled to have a simple surgery in December, but she is having a lot of anxiety and worries about the surgery.  Obviously it is due to the trauma that she went through with her daughter.  Because of her circumstances, she has been praying for comfort and direction…and that is when we knocked on her door.  She has had some contact with the Elders before and they invited her to come to church, but they never taught her for some reason.  Today we taught her about keeping the Sabbath day holy and the blessings that we can obtain by going to church.  We told her that she could gain great peace, comfort, and support by coming to church.  She committed to come with us on Sunday.

Sister J. broken down shoes

Sister Jamieson

 October 22, 2014

            I am on a division with Sister Alyssa Jamieson right now, she is very funny and quirky sister from southern Idaho.  She is the youngest of 9 children and has been out just one transfer less than I have.  She is a hard worker and has a bright, shining testimony.  It has been great to serve with her today.  Divisions are so fun when your sisters are good, hardworking, positive, obedient missionaries.  But, not-so-fun during shark week…argghhh! 

            We taught a Mom, her 3 kids, and her friend about the restoration.  Se spoke so SIMPLY, used simple examples, and easy to understand scriptures, and they did not understand any of it.  Anyways, we just challenged them to pray about what we taught and left feeling pretty crummy because it just wasn’t an effective lesson.  But as we reflected on it, we realized that the 19 year old daughter, though sitting in the corner away from the other people, had been attentive through the whole lesson and had even teared up during the first vision.  You just never know who is listening to you when you teach.

minha companheira tão linda!

Rio negro e solimoes (these are two rivers in Manaus -- one is really really dark and the other is really clear, and they don´t ever mix together-- we joke around that we are the rivers haha)

October 24, 2014

            Wow, I am tired!  We had a great day and worked really hard and man it was HOT…I mean HOT!!! Sana Cruz is the hottest area I’ve been in.  I think it gets up to 48 degrees C on a regular basis.  Last week it hit 115 degree F.  I am DYING!!! Thank heavens that I am in the home stretch and will not have to live through another entire summer here. 

            I really like my little brother’s daily miracle exercise that he is doing on his mission in Chile to help him stay positive about the challenges of being a new missionary.  My companion and I decided that we needed to give that a try too.  Our milagre today was Fabio.  We called him because it is very hard to visit him because he lives super far away.  We asked him how he liked church and then he asked us, “Uh Sister, I have a question.  What do I need to do to be baptized?  I would really liked to do that.”  Wow, we were speechless.  We have literally knocked on hundreds of doors these past few weeks and with very little success, then this amazing man just appears.  We are so grateful for the chance that we have to teach people like him. 

            I have been thinking that president was so inspired to send me to this area to “open” another area.  My mind has been so busy trying to problem-solve, find new people to teach, help train other sisters, etc.. that I don’t think or worry too much about Dad – just in my morning and evening prayers.

At least the dogs like us!

October 25, 2014

            I am so tired, and my body just aches.  Today wasn’t great. We helped clean the church, and had a great lunch appointment with a fantastic family, but other than that, every appointment fell through….and we got lost, again.   To top it off, our beloved Elder Moraes got emergency transferred to help another zone get straightened out.  But we love him…and he is so positive, spiritual, and cheerfully optimistic.  He has helped me to be more positive these past few weeks, and now he is GONE…it is true that we cried a little bit. So that made today a bummer.  At the end of the day we stopped by one of the bishopric members house and realized that they are going through some really tough times.  It made me realize that mission worries are nothing in comparison with the challenges that face us in real life.

October 26, 2014

            Well I am needing a good Mom, “you are in the home stretch, you are strong, you can do this!” pep talk.  We have focused on being positive all week, but if truth be told, things are not great.  My body is aching, my feet swell until my sandal straps hurt, we have ZERO progressing investigators, our lessons are falling through left and right, and I finally broke from my , “looking on the bright side of life perspective today to, I just don’t know yet what my purpose is here in Santa Cruz.” I don’t feel like I am helping anyone feel closer to Christ, and that leaves me feeling discourages and just plain unmotivated. Sometimes I feel like I have to have the energy to motivate two people, and I just don’t have that kind of energy.   My body longs for a rest, or at least a nice long Sunday afternoon nap.  I just hope  that I can hold up another 7 weeks. My companion is good, but we just don´t have that emotional connection that I feel with the American missionaries. I am getting so so so so tired. I wake up tired, I talk myself up enough to go out an knock doors in 100 degree weather, I work tired, I come home tired....I am just literally giving it all I´ve got, which is hard when you don´t see the payoff...but I know it´ll come....slowly. Man I am homesick.