Minnow Week

Week 3, Monday October 21, 2013

On the top of the train platform...public transport is slow, hot, and crowded.

Man, there is nothing better than hearing from all of you!  P-days are the BEST.  Sometimes I literally count down the days, hours, and minutes until P-day.  Sometimes I also count down the minutes until 10:30 P.M. (missionary bedtime). Missionaries are tired all the time!  Between the huge carbohydrate filled lunches, the heat, and 7 hours+ of walking every day, I often slip into “food comas” between 2-3 pm.  It’s pretty bad.  If we stop moving, I’m asleep. If someone else says really long prayers, I’m out. I even fell asleep sitting upright at my desk during personal study.  It’s pretty rough!  I don’t know if it’s just art of the adjustment process of not, but SZ gets a kick out of my narcolepsy.

One lunch…oh man! This lady had just had a baby and SZ informed me that she is really sensitive and that I need to eat, and if she offered more to eat, I needed to eat more so as not to hurt her feelings….3 plates FULL of rice, bean, meat, forofu, and salad & 3 servings of some dessert with lots of sweetened condensed milk and pineapple later…I thought that I was going to explode.  Seriously, I probably could have thrown up, but the emotionally sensitive lady seemed really happy because I liked her food.  I have since learned the TRICK is to take a really small plate the first time because they don’t usually notice or care, then eat that plate slowly.  Then take more for a second serving.  This formula has served me well the fast few days.

There are many, many trials on a mission and I think Rio is about 10X more stressful that Rapid City, but I am coping.  It’s a lot easier to compartmentalize, prioritize, and not freak out when hormones are not involved.  Things are a lot better this week.   My companion and I had a great week.  We worked, laughed, taught, and shared emotions in unity.  She’s a good companion, and has a lot of patience with me.  We’re bonding through our mutual love of the gospel, and now that I can start to understand her, her sense of humor is starting to shine through.  I am really starting to love her and be concerned about her needs….3 weeks in, gah!  I’m so selfish!  It is so hard to look outward when everything inward is completely nuts.

Missionary work is WORK – lots of long days, rejection, emotion, and disappointment with only a few marvelous moments of shining success…but those moments are worth it!  They’re worth it because this church is true and the Spirit is our constant companion. Missionaries are bold, and we always invite people to be baptized within the first few lessons.  I was nervous and wary about doing this at first, but it makes our purpose clear and people know what their expectations should be – when the invitation is extended correctly , the investigator will feel the Spirit and start to understand the importance of following Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in their lives.  Even if/when the person does not accept the invitation the first time it is extended, you will always get to the root of their concern, which helps gauge how to teach to their needs.  Yes, it takes guts and courage, and yes, you do have to present it with love and tact, and yes it shoves me outside of my comfort zone, but I have a testimony of its importance.  

Typical back street.

I haven’t cried in public yet, though I got pretty close during sacrament meeting yesterday.  I have a picture of our family inside of my scriptures and after not being able to understand 2 out of the 3 speakers, I pulled out my Portuguese scriptures and looked at the picture – MISTAKE! Gah!  So many homesick emotions flooded my mind! Usually I don’t allow this to happen except for on P-day.  As I am writing this note, Sister B came into the room and we had a heart to heart about our families.  We shed a few tears and we reflected about how you guys think about and miss us as much as we think about and miss all of you.  It was both a comfort and a heartache.

 Random thoughts/happenings:

*It is getting so hot. We have had a couple days in the 100’s, right now it is 86 in our house and 98 outside, and the summer is only beginning. With the humidity, it makes for a red face and very curly hair.

*Every morning I dip myself in a vat of 70 spf sunscreen and then douse my body in insect repellent.  Then maybe I’ll put on eyeshadow/mascara…maybe.

*Sometimes if we are at a lunch appointment and the food isn’t ready yet, the family will whip out their photo albums and insist that you look at every photo.  Brazilians definitely aren’t shy about the pictures they include …let’s just say that I have seen a lot of skin and boobies – breastfeeding happens.

*Riding in a 12 passenger van with 30 people or being kissed by an really sick lade, or slogging through a muddy street with various types of poop…I think, “Man, I’m glad I got my shots!”

*After caving to my animal-loving instincts, I lightly pet a dog’s head only to watch that same dog run off and aggressively gnaw at its back fleas…I think, “Auggh, I’m gonna get fleas!”

* I am pretty sure that people don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom because there is never any soap or hand towels in their bathrooms….wish I had my pocket hand sanitizer. 

*I love listening to the few CD’s that are allowed.  My favorite is the Josh Wright piano CD.  It is a huge stress reliever.  I never get to play the piano here except for the opening hymn at district meeting last week.  I hope to snag some piano time before our meeting tomorrow.  

*Acai is my new Froyo...fortunately my companion loves it too!

FINALLY, I had a moment this past week where I felt like I was here for a reason and that my gifts/personal experiences will help people.  We taught a woman named C, who is about my mom’s age and has a small seamstress business.  She has lupus, and as we were teaching her, I just felt really connected with her and was able to speak freely, remember my verb conjugation, and she understood what I was saying. I didn’t have to repeat myself or anything. It was truly the Spirit working a miracle in our lives. I invited her to be baptized and she said that she will if/when she gets and answer to her prayers.  It was awesome.

Shark Week

Monday October 14

Dear family and blog readers,

One of the cooler days in Rio.

I try to be as honest and candid with these letters as possible so that furture missionaries may be able to understand the hardships that come with choosing to serve a mission…something that I didn’t really hear or understand very well before serving this mission.  Every . Day. is Hard. You will never feel more inadequate, stupid, selfish, or exhausted (physically, emotionally, and spiritually.) BUT, you will also be in an environment where you will learn and grow more than ever before. You will be trusted by the Lord with a great responsibility, and with His help, you can and will succeed.

Down to realness details…

Point #1:… (warning for the squeamish, it must be shark week for Sister Colvin)….

Menstruating on a mission, SUCKS! The very moments when you want to curl up in a ball, your are forced to talk to 50 new people a day. When you don’t want to talk to anyone, you have to speak openly in broken Portuguese and overcome misunderstandings.  When you are grumpy and crampy and bloated, you have to walk for 7 hours, smile, and spread the gospel.  It, SUCKS!  The language barrier is rough enough, but when you are trying to explain that you really can’t wait another 2 hours to go to the bathroom (for what should be obvious reasons) and your companion tells you to hold it, well your crazy monthly hormones might lead you to feel resentful and picked on….it’s rough.

Point #2: You will feel stupid.  It is a given.  I feel extremely inadequate and insufficient with the language, and I often wonder what the heck I am doing here. The language and cultural barriers are huge. I feel like all I know how to say are things like, “I need this, I have pain, we should do this, I need to pee, etc…” I feel the tension within my companionship from misunderstanding and I feel myself becoming more and more introverted. I can also feel my spirit of adventure waning.  Everything is extremely intimidating and I am constantly being thrust outside of my comfort zone! There is definitely a fear of opening your mouth.  I have always felt so comfortable and confident with spoken words, and it’s difficult to feel so broken and inadequate with this language.  That being said, I can recognize that I am improving and getting better at some things and I know that I can do this. I try to turn to the scriptures during discouraging times and remember that Christ has felt everything I have felt and much more.  It’s definitely a growing experience and I am being shoved through this refiner’s fire. It’s hard to relax and roll with the punches, especially with my control-freak tendencies, but I am learning.  Slowly…Very slowly. The whole patience thing is coming along really well though!

Point #3: Being a junior companion in a foreign country is frustrating.  In Rapid City we shared all responsibilities, so it was easy to have a job, make a plan, and feel useful.  Here, not so much.  I finally asked to start taking addresses of contacts and organize the area book.  My senior companion very reluctantly obliged. It’s impossible to work if you don’t have a job and can’t teach or speak (which is our #1 responsibility.)

Point #4: You will realize just how cushy our life in the USA is.  Simple things like sanitizing spray or printing off emails are a foreign concepts among the missionaries here.  I try to be sensitive about money, but I am not shy about spending 30-40 reais (15-20$) on groceries a week.  They just don’t spend money. Which I think doesn’t make sense because it is our money that we earned to pay for our mission and we need to eat. Different culture!

Walking the hills...all...day......long!

This is where we teach!

Some things that I have learned this week, and answers to questions that have been specifically asked:

1. The son of my bishop (she must be learning some Portuguese because in English we say, my bishop’s son) is serving in Fortaleza and living with Garrison! Small world and yet another blessing of our inspired calls.
2. The peanut butter that Sister C loaded me up with in Rapid City has been a HUGE blessing. I think that I have gone through ½ of one already!
3. Mom, I loved the seminary BoM handouts and stickers that you sent!  Please send more.
4. Acai is amazing. It is soooo good. 

   

   Acai berries.

5. Everything sticks together here…my breath strips, envelopes, paper. …gotta love the humidity.
6. Brazilians might be tone deaf.  Sunday hymns definitely have a different feel to them.
7.  There is a “Dia de Criancas” every October 12th here.  It is essentially a “Father’s Day”, but reversed.  Parents go all out, rent buildings, blast music, buy a bunch of balloons, and give gifts to their kids.  There is also a lot of alcohol involved, so this past weekend was interesting.
8. Computer keyboards are very different and I haven’t had enough time on them to learn to type in Portuguese.
9. Music that you hear in the streets is mostly American artists blasting every where. It is obnoxious! Seriously, it is everywhere we go!  It is hard to feel the spirit when J. Beebs is blasting!  My housemates (except for Sister B) have about 30 songs total of peppy versions of primary songs, just one step up from Disney tunes at the MTC. 
10. Dominant Smell: A combination of garlic, cooking meat, dog poop, or some other kind of poop, and garbage.
11. Transportation: All walking.  My back and my knees are starting to bother me, especially my back.  There is no way that I could do this amount of walking without my backpack, even though I pack really light.  If an appointment falls through, we can literally be walking for 7 hours straight.  My knees hurt if we walk a lot of hills.  I try to explain to Sister Z that we need to be a little bit careful with our bodies no so that we can continue to work more later, but she just pushes through the pain, and I feel like a whiny achy American.  She already had what sounds like ankle bursitis though. BUT, she is tough and a very hard worker!

There are some crazy lessons taught in this mission…one time we were teaching a lady who was basically yelling at us, there are lots and lots of flea ridden emaciated animals here, and often the person you are teaching is not sober. We have taught in houses that have been 95 degrees and the floor has been literally covered in cigarettes.  We have been in places where there is a strong smell of feces and urine….but still we teach and we testify (mostly Sister Z teaches and I nod my head and try to smile at socially appropriate times. Haha) Last week we contacted 254 people – meaning we contacted them and shared some part of the Preach My Gospel lessons with them, or we invited them to church. This work is hard.  The adjustment is really, really hard.  Like compared to about 10 failed National “B” Exams, 5 Lile breakups, and 3 senior recitals all bunched into one and thrown at you before you have had the time to condition, prepare, or fully train yourself. I know that it is hard for everyone.  Sister B has helped me a lot. 

I try not to think of home or family too much because I get very emotional and I am already shedding enough tears of frustration and exhaustion…haha.  But, I love you and I want to thank you so much for the many things that you have sacrificed and provided for me through the years. 

Sister Colvin

P.S. BTW, everything is MUCH better this week because Shark Week (what I have dubbed my week of menstruation) is finished! We had some miracles and awesome moments. It is great, I will write about it for you to read next week! Sorry about the delay.  Also...it is starting to get HOT here. I think it hit 104 yesterday. I am loving having my Costco skirts and Walmart t-shirts. I may look like someone else's grandma (my own grandma's are too hip to qualify), but I am comfortable. Also...the sandal Jambu's are the BEST. No foot pain! No sweaty feet! A huge blessing! 

Sister M.S. make a delicious b-day cake for our district leader!

ROUGH start

                                                                                                                       October 7, 2013

I emailed you this morning but was unable to read or print or send photos due to time constraints! So, I am going to try this method of handwriting in more detail and then sending a photo of my handwritten letter the following p-day.  Hopefully you can read these (then Mom can transcribe them for the blog.)

Okay, so more details on my first week in Rio: My first few days were really really rough.  My companion's patience was tried as we both attempted to communicate...rough. We would go to lunches at member's house and I would have NO idea what they were asking or saying. This was so frustrating at first because I want to so badly be able to connect with people and discern how we can help them...but you can't do that when you don't know what is going on.  I've gotten to the point now where I can laugh at my mistakes, be humble enough to admit I don't understand even the simple things, and try to speak as much as I know.  Sometimes SZ and I will be talking to someone (ie. she talks, I observe), and my brain suddenly checks out as I realize that I don't understand ANYTHING that people are saying. haha.  The language barrier is lot easier when you can laugh at your inability....all I can do is laugh.  I'm learning.

My language skills are progressing at this pace.

I found myself often feeling completely emotionally overwhelmed by everything new, emotionally disconnected because of the language barrier, and I found myself with many questions and doubts.  "Holy crap, what am I doing here?!  Why did I have to get my visa so fast?! I miss the cushiness of the states!  THERE ARE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE (in stark contrast to South Dakota).  I can't speak. I can't communicate..maybe I should just go home, I'll never feel this burden lighten.  Why was I called HERE?"

Terrible thoughts, terrible questions, but I think they are a necessary part of any adjustment period - so long as you keep pushing forward, which I am doing! I have already learned so much about how to observe and love without using many words. It takes a lot of work, and it's hard to look outside of myself when I am feeling overwhelmed, but I think one of the biggest reasons I was sent here is to learn how to be less selfish.  I'm such a naturally selfish person! It's so bad!  Sometimes I just forget to remember that other people have different feelings and thoughts.

But yeah, this is a very different culture.  They're so blunt, and talk abut the "rich American" right in front of my face!  It really irked me at first, but I'm learning the customs and learning how to joke about my heavy bags and awesome backpack.  (side note:people still use backpacks for day-to-day tracting and then take side-bags to training meetings and zone conferences and such.  I ADORE my backpack, and I am going to continue using it for day-to-day tings, otherwise I'm fairly certain I would have back problems with as much walking as we do.)

Healthwise, I am dong great. I bought earplugs in rapid City because Sister B snored, and they have been a lifesaver here!  I've been sleeping really well, and these beds are pretty comfy.  My feet are also doing really well, and I'm glad we spent the money on good shoes.  We walk and run (yes, Sister Z literally runs!) a LOT.  Our area is not all that flat so it could be hard on the feet and knees to walk/run 10 miles/day in church shoes.  But thanks to researching good shoes, I haven't had any foot or knee pain.  I have been told that missionaries have lots of problems with their knees here, so I have been doing some knee exercises that I learned from my physical therapy classes.  I think that the exercises are helping to strengthen my knees and prevent problems for me.

Yesterday I learned an important lesson: Sister Z is an awesome teacher and works very hard, but when we are in the house, we have a few problems.  SB and I also had a few times when we had difficulty with obedience, but for the most part we were really good especially with bedtime and wake-up time.  Not so much here... So yesterday(actually backing up a bit-Saturday was rough because Sister Z didn't really talk or communicate with me at all.) I addressed these concerns in what I thought was a correct, culturally acceptable direct Brazillian manner.  It turns out that Bolivians aren't quite as direct as Brazilians, and they are pretty firey at times. I've never understood so much Portuguese in a sequence before as I did when SZ let me know what she was thinking! Oh man, she was so mad!  I quickly realized that, with my limited vocabulary, I had not expressed myself very well, and she felt attacked. I tried to express my appreciation for her and all the things I like about her, but she didn't want to be consoled.  AHHHHH!  I was freaking out!!! We both were frustrated.  Then a miracle happened that can only be explained as a gift from the Holy Ghost.  I felt prompted to pull my chair next to her, extend an arm of love, apologize, and express the deep feeling of my heart.  The words flowed through me in a way that I have never before felt.  Hard feelings dissolved as we spoke heart to heart about our fears, feelings, and desires.  This whole process lasted about an hour and a half, and though we didn't finish our studies, I learned a far more important lesson of humility and love.

Gringo day for General Conference!!!

This past General Conference (which we watched in ENGLISH - hallelujah!), Ulysses Soares spoke of how subduing pride and avoiding contention in the first step on the road to meekness.  He urged us to remember the life and example of Christ.  Wouldn't is be annoying to have many people reject you? Wouldn't it be easy to think only of ourselves if we were suffering intense pain?  If people spit on you, would you want to serve and heal their sons and daughters?  And yet, through every experience, as David Bednar said, "Christ turns outward when others would turn inward." It is so easy to turn inward, but as I strive to look outward, the Holy Ghost fills my heart with thoughts and directions.  It is really awesome.

I hope that you were able to watch all sessions of conference.  It was awesome for me.  On Saturday there were 5 American missionaries shoved in a closet-like room all huddled around a small computer screen.  The speakers were very quiet and there was music blasting in the building next to the church, so we had the door and windows shut so we could hear.  We all leaned in close and strained to hear the speakers.  It was remarkable.  Because we had to work so hard to hear, the messages filled our hungry souls.  Though we had to blast the AC during the hymns (yeah, AIR- CONDITIONING in the church buildings!)It was an awesome conference and a cool experience.  On Sunday, we had our District Leader's companion - Elder A, go bold on the stake clerk to let us use a TV screen with better speakers and more room.  The clerk didn't want to let us use the TV, but this Elder was like, "if you were in America, wouldn't you want to be able to hear and understand conference?!" So, on Sunday we were able to hear and understand conference!

Our Zone in Campo Grande

Our District is as follows:
Elder VW (Awesome DL) comps with Elder A (really really kind Brazilian).
Sister M S (27 years old from Fortaleza) comps with Sister  B (19 year old sweetheart with super curly hair...we could be twins.) Sister  Z (20 year old Bolivian, 7 months in Brazil) comps with me (gringo, rich American, super white, speaks no Portuguese, haha!)

Sister B..my English speaking lifeline!

That's all for this week, I love you loads and I am so grateful for a righteous, covenant-making family.  Boys, hold strong to the iron rod! I love you, Amo voces muito!

Culture Shock Sister Colvin Style

Holy smokes! I am really in Brazil! I only have 20 more minutes left before this computer logs me out, so I am going to write like crazzzy!

I flew down to Rio with Elder N and H, Sister P, and Sister S. It was so lovely to see familiar faces after a long day of traveling, and though the flight was long and the total transit time was over 24 hours, I was SO EXCITED to get to Brazil....and then I heard people speaking Portuguese...yeah, I definitely don't speak it haha. We got to the airport and President Lima wasn't there yet, so we had to wait for like 30 minutes....picture 5 American missionaries standing in the middle of baggage claim having NO idea what people are saying, and not knowing where their president was. Haha that was a little rough. Buuuttt eventually they showed up and loaded up our bags and we were on our way.

One of these things is not like the other.....?

We got to the chapel and proceeded to go through training--in Portuguese, with translation by our APs. It is SO hard to absorb information while battling jetlag, but I think the adrenaline carried me through. We met with president, had more training, and then got to meet our companions! Mine is Sister Z and she is a tiny little Bolivian who has been here for 6 months and trained 1 other Spanish-speaker, but who has never worked with an American comp. She gave me a big hug and helped me feel really welcomed. She is a HARD worker, and everyone talks about how much of a beast of a missionary she is. I feel lucky to be able to learn from her! She is 20. (This keyboard is hard to type on....) We live with another companionship and Sister B who speaks English. It is a huge blessing to be able to communicate and be understood at the end of a long day. Okay, soooo OH YEAH, in between training and getting our new comps we had lunch and it was delicious. I love the food here! Aaaah it's so good.

Taking a break while lugging my suitcases over a bridge.

Okay. so then we took our bags to our house. Easy enough, yeah? yeah no. We had to walk, take a tram, take a bus, walk some more, walk up and over a huge bridge, walk on cobblestone, and walk some more....all while lugging around my ginormous bags stuffed full of 20 boxes of tampons, loads of shampoo, and peanut butter....I've never felt more guilty about my wealth in my life. Most of the Brazilians had like 1 or 2 bags, but I had 2 ginormous ones and 1 rolling carry-on.....it is okay, but they were really hard to lug around. Thank heavens the wheels on my suitcases held up!
 
Okay, so that is the travel story, now into what I wanted to address..... in 13 minutes.....the subject of  CULTURE SHOCK!

Medically speaking, physiological shock is a natural response to intense pain or stimulus. I remember quite well one instance when my family and I were skiing with good family friends. The father took a bad turn off of a cat track, and ended up fracturing his tibia and fibula in multiple places. As Ski patrol arrived, I remember seeing him pass through many stages of this physical shock to his system. His body shook, his eyes dialated, and though he had a high pain tolerance, you could tell that he could literally physically not think straight.

Culture shock, while not physical, definitely does have similar responses. To address these more fully, I will talk about the many senses that have been overwhelmed these past 6 days.
Sight ----- the roads are packed with people, people walk in the streets, there appears to be no driving policy or training, and there are many wild dogs who poop in the road.  People live on top of each other in very humble brick houses held together by concrete, but commonly disintegrating.
 
Sound----- people put speakers in the back of a pickup truck and drive around `BLASTING this music. Teenagers often rent out buildings and blast music in the wee hours of the morning. There are always people talking, dogs barking, and often voices over microphone as well.

Taste ---- oh, the food is SO good! aaahh I love it....unfortunately I was a bit distended my first few days haha, but I think my body is slowly adjusting to eating a big meal in the middle of the day. Oh, people dont have dinner here at all haha

aaahhhh 6 minutes!

Touch ----- people really do kiss your cheeks as a greeting, which is a huge thing to get adjusted to. Sometimes the women only do one cheek and then go in for a hug, sometimes its two cheeks, sometimes its different. aaaahhh I always have a moment of panic when I go in for a greeting haha. usually they sjust make a kissing noise rather than making contact with the cheek with their lips, but one time I am pretty sure I gave a woman a big lip smack on her cheek....my bad haha. There was another time where a woman went for a double-sided kiss and I thought she was going in for a hug--we ended up having our lips waaaaay too close together! 
                                        
Are there any other senses? (I am surprised she forgot smell, that is usually the one that she notices the most! That probably means that all is well with smell in Rio!)

I'm out of time, but I will describe more next week. The area is great, I am actually starting to understand and communicate, but it was really really really really hard and there may have been a lack of patience and a lot of moments of frustration the first few days. I am adjusting. Things are good. I am SUPER grateful to be here. Thank you for your love and support. More details next week, I promise!

Love,
Sister Colvin



P.S. Pictures of my apartment:

Nice Bathroom

plenty of study space

Natural clothes drying

Creative nightstand

Front walkway

Cool kitchen!

She's Alive!

Well, after 3 days (one more and I would have called out the troops) the mission office sent us the following email: 

Boa Tarde,

Venho por meio desse comunica-los que Síster Colvin chegou ontem em nossa missão, ela escreveu uma carta para vocês(em anexo).  Seu dia de preparação é as segundas-feiras.

Grato,
Elder J.Lima

GOOGLE TRANSLATED ...

Good Afternoon,

I hereby notify you that this Sister Colvin arrived yesterday in our mission, she wrote a letter to you (attached) Your preparation day is on Mondays.
 
Thank you,
Elder J.Lima
  
Attached short handwritten note dated October 1, 2013

Holy Cow! Well, I'm here and it's overwhelming but awesome.  I think that even without he language barrier I would be overstimulated.  There is so much to take in.  It may just be jetlag, but my head is spinning a bit and it hasn't quite sunk in that I'm really in Brazil!  I'm able to understand maybe 50-60% of what is being said and the rest goes right over my head.  I'm sure that the rest will come through faith, work, and patience.  

There are 6 gringos here...One new American Elder from the CTM, Elder N,  Elder H,  Sister S and Sister P, and me.  It was awesome to see Elder N again (he was one of the Elders in her MTC district).  The flight was long but uneventful.  

There are some mission rules that are going to be a challenge for me, especially the rule about no classical music.  Oh well. There are more important things that being inspired by relaxing symphonic works of art, right?  Also:

•  No taking any medication including motrin unless it is approved by the mission president or his wife.  We will get to be good friends with my monthly phone calls!
•  No backpacks. period. 
•  No bracelets or sunglasses
•  Only 1 hour of email time, no printing.

Well, I love you guys.  I hope that Garrison made it safely! It was awesome to be able to hear your voices. 

Proof that Elder N and I made it to Brazil!

Amo voces! Penso muito sobre seu saude e felizidade.  

Sister Colvin