The LONG home stretch

I cannot get over the magnitude of this group.

Dear family and friends,

Holy smokes. What a long, hard week.  Combine the CONSTANT stress of being a missionary, add in a new companion to make a trio, mix it with female hormones, factor in basic animal instincts to run away from every human being, eat a chocolate bar, and hug a pony, and you have a me -- a struggling missionary. Wednesday through Saturday were really really rough, and I struggled to feel pleasant around others.

The only mail I got this week was a 5 page DearElder from mom about how to take care of my weird feet....and then I got a nice DearElder from Dad last night, but when you have a companion who literally gets more mail than when Dumbledore was trying to send Harry's Hogwarts invitation, it's a bit discouraging. I don't think I've ever been so acutely aware of how important mail is to missionaries morale.

Everyone here is just SO happy ALL the time, and they treat you as though there is something evil or wrong with you if you aren't constantly beaming about how excited you are to teach more fake investigators, or how much you looooove the food, or loooove being a missionary every moment of the day. Between the beaming (sometimes really seemingly fake) smiles and the constant singing/humming/whistling of Disney songs in the bathrooms, I am really ready to get into the field. Some folks are constantly sighing happily and expressing in a passionately righteous voice, "oh my goodness, I'm going to miss the MTC SO much." I love my fellow missionaries, but no. Just no. Not feeling it... I'm stoked to get into the field.  Anyways, I've definitely had a down week, and getting the news about the Visas certainly hasn't helped to lift my spirits either. Today has been a teary day, but thank you for sending me the news about the visas. It's better to know than to keep guessing. Some (few) of us have received their visas and left the rest of us here...it is hard to be left behind which is probably what Sister G is thinking.

What's left of us.

Slight improvement!

The Nightly foot-care routine

Since coming to the MTC I have had a myriad of health-related problems. Fortunately, I have been well trained by my parents to NOT go to the doctor for every little thing (just the really weird stuff), otherwise I would have been sent home by now. Here is a breakdown:
Week 1: major sleeping issues
Week 2: intense dizziness and nausea (caused by the sleeping pills I was taking for the insomnia), start of a nasty cold
Weeks 3-4: The nasty cold, followed by a persistent cough.
Weeks 4-5: Hyperhydrosis of my plantar fascia, an ingrown toenail (right foot), and developing warts -YES, that's right, WARTS (left foot), and sciatic nerve pain from sitting 6-8 hours every day in very hard, uncomfortable chairs. 

It's been a struggle to think of why all of these things are happening, especially when I've never had many of these problems prior to coming to the MTC. I was talking with a lady at the Health Clinic this past week, and she says that they get all sorts of weird cases while missionaries are in the MTC. I honestly think that Satan is working really, really hard on missionaries (focusing right now on my feet), and a lot of times, it does work. It certainly worked for me this week. I have felt intensely discouraged, disheartened, and disgruntled towards MTC life. What's even more frustrating is to know that you aren't SUPPOSED to be feeling this way. As a missionary, you are supposed to feel God's love, you are supposed to welcome challenges with open arms, recognizing the learning opportunities, and sometimes it really feels as though you're expected to do all of it with a smile on your face. I truly believe that there are some people who have the spiritual gift that allows them to smile midst hardship, but I don't believe that I have been graced with that gift. I feel the struggles, and I don't just smile and bear it...unfortunately, and far too often, I let it affect my performance. I remember this well during school, especially my last semester of senior year. I had 21 credits, 11 piano students, a physical therapy internship, and a senior recital. To say that days were busy and work was stressful would be a massive understatement. About halfway through the semester, I had a two-week long funk. I remember going to piano lessons, shedding a few tears, and having my wise teacher (who also has an extremely Type A personality) give me great council. She knew things were hard. She knew things would not get easier for at least another few months, but she expressed that some day, I would look back on my final, brutal semester, and I would miss it. I would miss that environment, I would miss learning, and at times I would long to go back. She advised me to try to maintain that perspective, and to simply take things one day at a time.

That is precisely what I did.

I don't quite know how, but as I took things a day, a class period, an hour at a time, I got through that semester. I gave a successful senior recital, graduated with honors, and maintained sanity despite constant stress....looking back, I really do miss it. I loved Whitworth with all of my heart, and though during that semester I really "wanted out," some days, I wish I could sit in my piano teacher's room and play beautiful music, or that I could walk into my biology adviser's too-messy office to talk about the bigger questions of life. I miss it.

In a lot of ways, I think a mission is going to be a lot like that final semester. Every day is stressful, every days is incredibly hard, and some days, you really wonder if it will be worth it, and if you could ever miss 6:00 AM-11:00 PM days. But I know it is worth it, and I know that it will go by faster than I know, and that someday, I will miss it.

One of the missionary's favorite talks is Elder Holland's talk on missionary work and salvation. He says something along the lines of,  “I am convinced that missionary work is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience. Salvation never was easy. We are the Church of Jesus Christ, this is the truth, and He is our Great Eternal Head. How could we believe it would be easy for us when it was never, ever easy for Him?”
I really need to keep that in mind.

Okay, enough just random preachy thoughts, here are some details about this week:

We got a new companion, Sister G. She's in the MTC for an extra two weeks because she has a stress fracture in her right lateral sesamoid bone.  ST and I have tried to help ease the transition, but she's definitely missing the her district, and she's struggling to be here extra time. I honestly would be as well, especially if I had my visa and under normal circumstances would be going straight to Brazil. I imagine it's very hard for her to hear the same curriculum over again, and it's probably hard for her to adjust to new companions as well.  She is a powerful missionary! She has great insight and has really great Portuguese skills, so she's been a huge asset in our lessons this past week. We did have the opportunity to attend the temple this morning for the first time since we have been here. It has helped all of us I think, and tonight we are rumored to be having a general authority speak to us at devotional.

The Trio at the Temple

Speaking of lessons, we finished teaching Domingos and Francisco on Friday and Saturday. It was bittersweet because we grew to love these "investigators" a lot.  We started teaching our classmates yesterday. Basically they have you take on the role of one of your nonmember friends, which is really interesting. You choose someone that you are close to so that you can feel and respond as they would. 

Super Rio/ Elder Mountain

Elder M is teaching me, so he teaches me for 20 minutes, then I teach him for 20 minutes. I think I learn even more through being an investigator, because I'm acutely aware of how my friend would respond to the missionaries, and to the particular message being shared. It definitely reminded me how important it is to ask questions, involve people more in the lessons, and make sure that you are paying more attention to them than the lesson you are teaching. It was also a really neat experience to be able to teach without a companion. I personally loved it, as it felt as though I were sharing a message one-on-one with a friend. I was able to convey my message in Portuguese, and I think Elder M really felt the Spirit, and as his investigator, felt a desire to change. I am so looking forward to sharing this message of joy with real-life investigators!

I actually don't have that much more to write.  I know I'll get over this slump, and that I will love whatever area I am serving in (though it IS really frustrating to have learned Portuguese for a month and probably lose most of it before I even get to Brazil....) It's also frustrating when everyone tells me that this is "part of God's plan." Maybe it is, but sometimes, it really doesn't feel that way. I guess I need to have more faith and hope than I currently possess.

I love you all, and you're in my heart and prayers.

Love,
Sister Colvin

Hand Written Addendums...

Dear Dad,

I LOVE getting your letters! I laugh so hard when I read your notes! Serving in the High Council will be such a good opportunity to serve and give back to a stake that has given us so much.  You will be wonderful.  I've always admires your leadership and testimony.

The Spirit here is amazing, but the strict rules that are needed to maintain that Spirit are HARD.  I'm trying my best to be obedient, but I really dislike being told what to do every hour of every day.  It's still good though.  Emotional ups and downs for sure, but I've developed such a love for missionary work.  I made a note during Sunday's devotional that went like this: "I am going to learn so much about the importance of loving people and showing appreciation.  It will change my life, change my mission, and change my future family."

I love you Dad, and I am so grateful to have loving and supportive parents.

Dear Mom,

It warmed my heart to see all the pictures of Sophie and Sawyer--- I am so glad that they are doing well --- tell Sawyer that I'm proud of him for getting after her!  Everyone here is always asking, "Oh, so tell me about YOUR significant other."  I just pull out a picture of Sophie and get teary-eyed.  Actually, I get teary-eyed a lot here...probably the combination of feeling humbled, feeling the Spirit, and being extremely sleep deprived.

My Significant other

I am struggling so much with sleep.  It is really my hardest challenge.  I went to the health clinic this afternoon and the doctor told me exactly what I already know---so helpful.  (Oh, wait, we're not supposed to use sarcasm as a missionary...) I'll just keep taking the anti-histamines before gong to sleep like you told me too and see if I can start to get to sleep easier.  I tried to lay down for a nap today, and even though I have always been a beast at power-napping, I couldn't sleep.  UGGHH.

I love you and miss you lots...

PS  Garrison is doing really well!  He is very energetic, smiley, and optimistic. I don't know how he does it.

Dear Family,

Foot update:  Unfortunately, not much better.

My companionship is now a trio, and it is a BIG adjustment. Add in more emotions, how crazy girls can be, plus being around 2 comps all day in a stressful environment, and it adds up to some tension.  I am doing my best to remain patient and to put myself in Sister G's shoes (or boot and shoe), more opportunities to humble myself and learn and grow.

A new addition to our Rio Sisters!

The two year age difference is definitely apparent in how to handle conflict.  I have told ST the moment I have a concern, and we've gone a month without problems.  But there have been lots of concerns that other people have that they have not dealt with directly with others.  They think that because I am the old lady of the group, that I should know how to handle their interpersonal problems.  Let's just say that I am praying for patience and love for people.

Sisters in our Zone

Just like my own brothers...really!

We shared our testimony with the ESL (English as Second Language) elders, and then they shared their's in broken, simple, sweet, English.  (Jace M. is their teacher) Man, was it ever beautiful!  Even though they know very little English, the Spirit was muito poderoso (very powerful).  I hope that my testimony in Portuguese also has that much earnest love behind it.  Sister T. and I both agreed that it was a high point of our MTC experience so far.

Sister T's sister just got home from her mission in Portugal last night, and she got to meet with her for all of about 20 minutes today....rough, but a super happy experience. Sister T loves her family like crazy and cried a lot today.

Well I love you guys a lot.  I miss you a lot. I miss people just being direct about things.  That is a strength (and weakness) that our family has. I love it.  This work is awesome, but getting along with other people is hard......

(except Sister T, she is an angel sent from heaven, and so is her mother who sent us these treats last week!) Please keep sending letters and encourage people to write.  Letters are a huge help at the end of a frustrating day in which you lose patience with yourself.

Love you lots,
Sister Colvin

Funny Friday

PMS survivors

Dear family and friends,

Wow this week has gone by fast! Days feel like YEARS (we're going from 6am-11pm), but it seemed like only a few days ago that I was sending my last letter home. This week's email will be a bit more fragmented than the last, so bear with me.

Which Sisters Might be suffering from PMS?

First off, I should entitle this email, "WE SURVIVED PRE-MENSTRUAL CYCLES!!!" Sister T and I have both been very hormonal this past week, and thank heavens we are over it now. I was suuuuper grumpy last Monday-Wednesday morning. It is amazing how much longer days feel when you are discovering tiny little things that shouldn't bother you. "Oh my goodness the world is going to END because my companion learned 2 more Portuguese words than I did," or "uggh, could she just stop talking about how she loves people, and loves being a missionary?!" It was ridiculous. I hated feeling that way. Luckily we have really really good communication and so I voiced my current state of grumpiness to her, and she was very patient and understanding, which came in handy when she was grumpy on Thursday. We had companionship inventory again, and it left us even closer than before. 

Happy Companions once again!

She is awesome. We've continued to have a lot of success with our investigators, though some of our classmates are struggling right now. It's hard because Sister T and I have had a string of really powerful lessons with both of our investigators, as well as positive TRC experiences, but our district has ups and downs of teaching. I'm grateful that ST and I had intense self-reflection and humbling experiences the first week. It really set the stage for constantly thinking about and praying about our investigators and their success, which has guided our missionary efforts. Even though we are teaching our teachers who are pretending to be investigators, we've been so blessed to develop real love for these people. I can't wait to share that love with the people of Brazil! The calling of a missionary is real.
 

Our teachers/investigators.

One really cool experience came during our second lesson with Domingos. Domingos (Irmao C) is a 45 year old man who recently lost his job and separated from his wife. He's super humbled right now, and we're just really trying to help him find love and hope in his life. We prepared to teach the Plan of Salvation to hopefully help him realize his divine nature and his purpose in life, but during the lesson we were prompted to take it a different direction, and ended up reading scriptures of finding strength in Christ (Ether 12:27) It was very powerful, and we promised him that as he exercised faith, the Lord would bless him with peace and comfort. We get to be BOLD in Portuguese, and as missionaries! I love it! Brazilians are super direct, so telling someone that they need to repent and be baptized isn't seen as a forceful comment haha. Another cool teaching experience--we taught our 5th (?) lesson to Fransico, who is being baptized this Saturday, and it was on the Word of Wisdom. He loves us missionaries, and we've developed a really personal relationship. He has accepted and followed through with every commitment, buuuuut when we challenged him to keep the WoW, he was like, "yeah yeah, I agree," and we were like COOL. But then, he said, "but I like to play football on Sundays and drink with my friends." Sister T came out of nowhere and was SO BOLD and asked him if he loved the Lord, if he wanted to follow the Lord (to which he responded YES!), and then very plainly told him that he needed to keep all the commandments and the Lord will provide a way to accomplish them (1 Nephi 3:7).

The gospel is true. It brings joy, hope, and peace into people's lives. I am so disheartened that so many people feel content with their lives and relationships with Christ...this missionary opportunity is a way to strive to have an ACTIVE testimony, and be constantly working to follow Christ in every aspect of my life. I've felt more inspiration and love from my Heavenly Father in the past month than I have in my entire life. It's an incredible blessing.

-ST and I get a new companion, Sister G, this evening, so I'll be in a trio! SG was supposed to leave the MTC this week, and actually has her Brazilian visa, but she's waiting on a stress fracture in her foot to heal before she goes. I know it's going to be a huge adjustment to be in a trio, and I'm really nervous about it, but I just think about being in her position and how hard that would be. People get super close to their districts, and to be separated from so many people you love and be forced to stay in the MTC for two more weeks would be really hard.

-Okay. So I have a foot problem. It started a week ago as I noticed the balls of my feet starting to crack, and the athlete's foot between my toes starting to spread. I wash them really well every night and always wear my shower shoes & socklets, so I was a little surprised to be having a problem already. Anyways, I continued to take care of them, and then I noticed this nasty bubbling, cheesy looking thing happening to the bottoms of my feet. First thought: flesh eating bacteria. Second (more rational) thought: fungus. I then used antifungal cream Friday-Monday with no success. Everyone on my hall has been fascinated and grossed out by my feet, especially since I usually wash them in the sinks at night. After making all of my roommates gag following removing my socks on Sunday night, ST decided it was probably time to go to the doctor's.....so we did. I got a SUPER COOL doc. He was awesome. He's worked in embassies all around the world, and we talked about Rio for a good long time. Anyways, he was very sharp, and came up with a very good solution. My feet don't hurt at all, and they aren't red or itchy, they just are moist and look really gross. He said that I have hyperhidrosis of my plantar fascia. Cool. My feet sweat a lot. Awesome. My district has been thoroughly entertained by the fact that I don't have a fungus or flesh-eating bacteria, I just have fire hose sweat glands on the bottom of my feet. I got Tinactin? (Dr. Mom doesn't think that this is the correct name for the medication) to apply three times a day. The directions say to blow dry my feet, wrap them in saran wrap, and then sleep with socks on....I'm also supposed to take my shoes off during class to help my feet dry. Awesome. Payback for my district poking fun at my hyperactive pores! ST and I had quite the scene yesterday...I'm supposed to re-apply this fluid three times a day, which means that one of the times I'll be in our classroom building. SO, as I straddled the sink counter in an effort to both wash and dry my swiss-cheese feet, about three pairs of sisters came in. They were initially very concerned, and then grossed out. You can't just tell people, "my feet hyper sweat and it creates enlargened pores and micro blisters" without them thinking that you have the nastiest feet imaginable. It's whatever. haha

-about 5 or 6 people from our zone got their visas this week, including Elder A from our district! There is hope! Honestly though, I was feeling really nervous about going to Rio all last week. It's such a big shift from this cushy, air-conditioned life in the MTC. We had a teacher (Irmao P) who served in Rio 2 years ago come and talk to us about the mission, and I think all of us were sufficiently enthused about the work! Brazil is awesome! I'm really excited to serve (and sweat) for the next 17 months.

Elder A's farrewell, he got his VISA and left for RIO!

-ST and I are super bad at high fives...we actually put "practice hi-fives" on our to-do list haha! It's a work in progress. Also, I've been improving my hand-eye coordination, and can now catch a ball with one hand! Progress! Our district also talked me into playing frisbee and volleyball this week...it turns out that even though I look like a spaz, they tell me that I am not that bad. I think everyone here is just terribly uncoordinated, so I look mildly talented in comparison.

Sick Companion tortures me with her many letters.

Before we took a morning off to rest!

-Okay, yesterday was pretty much the greatest day ever. Sister T was feeling sick (we all still have residual coughs...uggh), so we slept in until---------EIGHT THIRTY! Whooooo! #missionaryprobs. Best morning ever. We woke up feeling refreshed, but we were a little off-schedule, so we decided to go and do music for part of personal study. We walked past a teacher who was supervising English second language missionaries in TRC. I was like *dingdingding* he'll know Jace! Sure enough, he did, so we stopped by Jace's classroom to see if he was there. I looked like a cancer patient with a food baby (his name was Eduardo), but it was soooo good to see him.I just love seeing people from home.

Sister Colvin and Jace M.

So yeah, it was a great day. We also didn't have to teach, so we got to spend a lot of time in language study, and preparing for our investigators. We now have the following memorized in Portuguese: missionary purpose, Joseph Smith 1st Vision, baptisimal invitation, and D&C 4. The gift of tongues is real! Portuguese is coming! It is such a blessing, because I was really really nervous about learning the language. The Lord provides.

-Garrison's district is still pretty hard on him, but Garrison has seemed to be in better spirits this week. I'm getting really really sad about being separated. It's been a luxury to be able to see him 3-4x a day, and to be able to walk down the hallway and see him. It will be really different to embark on my missionary journey without him. We've gone through this whole process together. August 19th will be a really rough day.

Elder Colvin, Elder Whatcott, Sister Colvin

-the bedbugs are still rampant in Elder E's bed, even after fumigation. He has now moved in with the other Elders in our district, and has slain Corihor and his army.

-could someone send us goldfish and fruit snacks? For whatever reason they don't have them in the bookstore, and we've been cravin' them like mad.

-Mom, our district loved your note. Elder S read it for the whole district at dinner, and I think some of the Elders teared up a bit. It's so nice to feel appreciation and recognition for our sacrifices and hard work. Some of the Elders have struggles with feelings of inadequacy this week, and it breaks my heart because they are such great guys! We try to encourage them as much as possible. Sister T also loved your sweet note! We had a Twinning Thursday to lighten the mood a bit.

TWIN THURSDAY - Not that everyone doesn't already look like clones!

-Dad, I'll write more in a letter tonight, but I'm loving your updates! While your sense of humor may not fly on the high council, it is getting quite a few laughs out of Sister T and I.

-Sawyer, your notes might just be my favorite! I'm definitely missing my twirpy littlest brother--especially riding with each other. I hope EFY is super fun this week, and that you learn a lot about the gospel (evangelho).

-Levi, I'm so so sorry about your knee. (He dislocated his kneecap for the second time this year, on the first night of EFY!) Hopefully you'll get a lot of sympathy from some cute girls at EFY ;) You're a tough kid, and I'm sure you'll own those crutches!

-Maddie, I got your letter this morning, but haven't had a chance to read it yet. I'll be sure to write you back later today :)

Alrighty, I think that's all for this week! I love you all loads, and I'm loving being a missionary!

Com muito amor,
Sister Colvin 

 PS. I ran into Sister M, literally, on my way to the laundry.  It is her last day here, she was actually on her way out!  I love her and she is going to be amazing!!!


 

SKILLZ

Oi minah familia!

Como vai? Tudo bem?  Eu penso sobre voces, e amo voces muito.

Here are some things that I didn't get to in my email...

• CONGRATS TO SAWYER! (and Sophie) whoohoo, C2! (This is a testing level within the United States Pony Club that Sawyer just passed this summer.  Taylor helped him quite a bit before she left...mostly by providing him with her amazing pony to ride!  Sawyer has been very lucky to follow along in Taylor's footsteps as he rides the pony's that she has trained and then outgrown.  In this case, Sophie will never be outgrown by Taylor, but just happened to be looking for a job this summer.) 

There are three Phases of testing.  The first is riding on the flat

The last phase is Riding in the open/cross country!

The second section is Riding Over fences/show jumping.

• My district has been graced by my magnificent dancing abilities, paying me the high compliment of saying that I dance like a MOM.  I have to resist the urge of blessing the public with my skillz.

Whose MOM is my question?  This 50 year old has some moves...

Actually I think that what I think my district meant was that I dance like a GRANDMA:

I hope that I can keep dancing at 90, even with my amazing moves, 

cause I am amazing just the way I am!

• Speaking of skillz, I have successfully avoided volleyball for another week...only three more to go.

• MOM, the sheet music that you so painfully purchased, copied, and organized for us has been a great blessing!  Sister T and I usually do music for the first 30 minutes of personal study, and our district has joined us a few times.  Elder N is quite good on the piano, and E. P is too.  E. E played viola for 14 years.  Mormons are so musical!  I love it!
• Portuguese is still coming along really well, though it's frustrating to know that you are not grammatically correct.  Thankfully, Sister T learns super fast, so she's able to help a lot. 
• If it's not super inconvenient, could you please mail me wedding pictures of Maddie and Parker, and Mom and Dad on their wedding day in front of the temple.  Our teachers say that those pictures can be powerful teaching tools.
• Note to Levi:  Sorry that it has taken me so long to write back to you.  Thank you so much for writing!  The MTC schedule is crazy and both Garrison and I have commented on how there's rarely a time when we're not doing something.  It's great though.  It really is amazing how strong the Spirit is here. When distractions from the outside world are removed, you can really be sensitive to the promptings and guidance of the Spirit as you study and teach.  You're going to love the MTC experience! It's hard at time, but I have never felt so spiritually fed.  I loved hearing your many flat tire stories and your MANY missionary experiences.  I think that is really cool that your friend went on a church tour.  You are already doing missionary work!  I was reading in 2 Nephi 4 this week, which is an account of Nephi glorifying God after Lehi dies. It's an incredibly powerful account, and I love how Nephi felt everything so deeply ---it reminded me of you.  You are so passionate and have such strong emotions, and I know that  is the strength that will help you greatly on your mission. Please keep writing and sharing your experiences.