Farewell Talk

 You Raise Me Up

The Lord Replaces Feelings of Inadequacy With Feelings of Strength

Intro:

a. introduction/short history

         Hello, my name is Taylor Colvin, and for those of you who don’t know my family, we’ve lived in Spokane for the past 11 years, and have loved being a part of the wonderful Greenbluff and Colbert wards. I’m 21 and recently graduated from Whitworth University with a double major in music and biology, and am leaving on a mission to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil on July 10^th. After serving my mission I hope to pursue graduate school to study Physical Therapy.

b. timeline of mission application/stages of emotion

         Since I was about 15 or 16 I knew that I wanted to serve a mission, however, the process of applying and preparing for a mission was far different than I originally anticipated. For those of you unfamiliar with the process, someone interested in serving must meet with their local bishop to run through spiritual and physical requirements needed to serve a mission. After this appointment, you are cleared to access an online missionary application form. Then, you must go to the doctor and dentist, receive many shots, remove wisdom teeth if needed, fill out an extensive application with personal information, submit a photo, meet with your bishop and stake president again, and then your papers will be submitted to the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve. They are guided by the spirit to make a mission assignment, and then the call will come in the mail, usually 2-3 weeks after the final submission of the application.

My brother Garrison and I submitted our papers early January of this year, and after a month of waiting for our mission calls to come, we found out on February 8th that our assignments had officially been made, and that our calls would be coming within the next week! We knew that mission calls almost always come on Thursdays, so we had the opening all planned out so that all of our family could be there. This is how that Thursday went: First off, it was Valentine's Day. I HATE being single on Valentine's Day, especially at Whitworth where couples go all-out and walk around with roses and hand-holding and chocolate hearts and matching dog sweaters and ridiculous grins on their twitterpated deliriously happy faces. After four hours in my morning biology dissection lab, I went to my parent's house to wait for the mailman to come with my call! I waited and waited. and waited. And then the mailman came! WITH NO MISSION CALL. So, smelling like formaldehyde and disappointment, I drug my weepy self back to the library to study and do some more waiting.

Another agonizing day of waiting went by, and at 11:48 on Friday, February 15th, my mom sent me a picture of two large white envelopes. After a month of anxiously awaiting the call, it had finally come. I can't quite describe the feelings leading up to opening a mission call. It is utterly overwhelming to realize that in just a few short months you will be GONE for a year and a half, and that location is concealed in a plain white envelope in front of you. I know some future missionaries feel a lot of peace prior to opening their calls, but for me the anticipation and anxiety of not knowing for over a month was really hard! After the call opening, I was in a state of shock and excitement! For about two weeks all I could do was bounce up and down and tell EVERYONE I knew where I was going and what I would be doing.

c. coming down to the final stage

Missions are a big deal, and while I am still very excited to go, there are several things I have learned that are NOT included in the mission packet.

1. Your days will fly by. What was once four and a half months will suddenly transform until your final countdown.

2. The time between getting your call and leaving on your mission is filled with a roller coaster of emotion. It's a lot like the scene from the animated movie Tangled when Rapunzel rapidly shifts from skipping around and singing “this is the best day ever, I’m never going back!” to curling up, rocking back and forth, and crying “I have to go home, mother would kill me!”

As I have prepared to serve for the next year and a half, I have realized just how many shortcomings I have. I have questioned whether or not I will be able to learn Portuguese, get along with a companion 24/7, if I will be able to overcome the emotional difficulty of leaving everything familiar, and if I can truly be an accurate representative of The Lord in spreading His truth and gospel. Often times my feelings of excitement for my mission are overshadowed by overwhelming feelings of inadequacy.

Central question/thesis: I sense that I am not alone in feeling this way. So my question for you, brothers and sisters, is how can we feel as though we are “enough” when serving the Lord, despite the many inadequacies, doubts, and human frailties that we possess?

Body:

Realizing that we are not alone—great men have doubted, but we always have the Lord to comfort us and catch us when we fall.

In the October 1976 general conference, Neil A. Maxwell gave the following address:

 “Some of us who would not chastise a neighbor for his frailties have a field day with our own. Some of us stand before no more harsh a judge than ourselves, a judge who stubbornly refuses to admit much happy evidence and who cares nothing for due process. Fortunately, the Lord loves us more than we love ourselves. A constructive critic truly cares for that which he criticizes, including himself, whereas self-pity is the most condescending form of pity; it soon cannibalizes all other concerns.”

The scriptures remind us that we are not the first to wrestle with these feelings.

In Exodus 3:11 we read,

“And Moses said unto God, who am I, that I should go unto Pharaoh, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?” 

Exodus 4:10 reads,

“And Moses said unto the Lord, O, my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore nor since thou has spoken unto thy servant, but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.”

We see in these passages, that when God called upon Moses to lead the children of Israel out of Egypt, Moses immediately felt inability and incompetence to do what was required of him. He saw this work as too great, too profound in its nature and character. As he felt his weakness he urged God to look to others, again asking, “Who am I that I should be sent forth to accomplish this great work--for it is impossible that it can be accomplished by any such ability that I possess.”

In Matthew 14 we read of another great follower of Christ doubting in his abilities.

“And he (Jesus) said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.

“But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.”

I think another great example comes from the Old Testament prophet, Jeremiah. The Lord called upon him to be a prophet, not only to the house of Israel, but also to all the surrounding nations. He was just a young boy when God first appeared unto him. We read in Jeremiah 1:5-6 that when God first called Jeremiah, he responded saying:

“I am but a child. How can I accomplish this great work you require at my hands, to discharge these great responsibilities you propose to lay upon my shoulders?” But God told him, “I knew you before I formed you in the belly.”

 

The Lord said He knew Jeremiah before he came into this world, and that he had the ability to accomplish that which the Lord required at his hands. In these examples, great men doubted their ability to accomplish what the Lord asked of them. Challenges, difficulties, doubts—these are part of our mortality. But we are not alone. We can accept this stunning, irrevocable truth: Our Lord can lift us from deep despair and cradle us midst any care. For as Moses, a great prophet of old asked, “who am I to lead the people out of bondage?”, the Lord strengthened him and provided a way for him to accomplish that great task. As Peter, a powerful disciple, cried out in uncertainty, “Lord, save me!” Jesus immediately stretched forth his hand and caught him. And as Jeremiah, that boy prophet, felt so inadequate, the Lord reassured him of his divine nature and ability to preach the gospel.

 

I think that so often, we forget to remember that we are sons and daughters of the most loving Heavenly Father we could imagine.

In a CES Fireside for Young Adults in November 2009, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave the following council:

“God has given again in these latter days, the truth about where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going. Much of the confusion we experience in this life comes from simply not understanding who we are. One of the most beloved storytellers of all time was the Danish writer Hans Christian Andersen. In one of his stories, “The Ugly Duckling,” a mother duck discovers that one of her newly hatched chicks is unusually large and very ugly. The other ducklings cannot leave the ugly child alone, they punish him mercilessly. The ugly duckling decides it would be better for everyone if he left his family, and so he ran away. Then one day, he sees flying overhead a flock of majestic birds. He takes flight and follows them to a beautiful lake. The ugly duckling looks into the water and sees a reflection of a magnificent swan. The ugly duckling realizes that the reflection is his own. He has discovered who he really is. Think of where you come from. You are sons and daughters of the greatest, most glorious being in the universe. He loves you with an infinite love. He wants the best for you. This knowledge changes everything. It changes your present, it can change your future, and it can change the world. If only we understood who we are, and what is in store for us, our hearts would overflow with such gratitude and happiness, that it would enlighten even the darkest souls with the light and love of God. Of course, there will always be voices telling you that you are foolish to believe that you are swans, insisting that you are but ugly ducklings, and that you can’t expect to become anything else. But you know better—you are no ordinary beings. You are glorious and eternal. I plead with you, just look into the water and see your true reflection. It is my prayer and blessing, that when you look at your reflection, you will be able to see beyond imperfections and self doubts, and recognize who you truly are, glorious sons and daughters of almighty God.” 

Sometimes I forget that I am a daughter of a magnificent loving Heavenly Father. I know that self-criticism and feelings of inadequacy have been personal struggles as I have prepared to go on this mission. There are some days when I can’t wait to be in the mission field, and there are many more where I wonder what I am doing. I’m a 21-year-old recent graduate traveling to a foreign country and sharing the gospel with others in what will likely be broken Portuguese. How can I help others when I have such limited wisdom and life experience? I have lived a privileged and protected life—how can I possibly express empathy and promises to the people of Brazil when I have never been faced with some of the challenges that they may have? How am I wise enough, good enough, brave enough, and strong enough to be a representative of Christ?

The answer can be found in Ether 12:27.

 “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them”

This is the key to being a follower of Christ. When we acknowledge our weaknesses and have faith in God, we are strengthened and have the power to do great things. One of my favorite songs buoys my spirit and reminds me that it is through Him that we can do all things.

"You Raise Me Up"

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

Conclusion:

It is my testimony that through the love and atoning sacrifice of our Lord, He can replace feelings of inadequacy with feelings of strength and love. I know that through the humble prophet Joseph Smith, who surely felt immensely inadequate at times, the gospel of Christ was restored in this dispensation. I am so grateful for the knowledge that our Savior loves each and every one of us. We are created in God’s image; we lived with him before we came to earth, and through Christ, we can return to live with him someday. I know that we are children of our Heavenly Father, and the knowledge that each and every one of us has divine nature brings me so much comfort in what is an increasingly deviant world. I know that families are ordained of God since the time of Adam and Eve, and I am so grateful for righteous parents who continue to give me wise guidance and council. I know that this church is lead by a humble latter-day prophet, Thomas S. Monson, who receives revelation from Heavenly Father. It is such a blessing to listen to his council, as it is direct council from Heavenly Father. The Book of Mormon is true, and I promise you that as you read it and pray about it, you will feel an overpowering feeling of the Holy Ghost confirming the truth of it unto you. I am grateful for the many bishops, teachers, leaders, and ward members who play such pivotal supportive roles in many people’s lives. I'm grateful for loving parents who have helped me get to this point. I am so humbled and feel so inadequate to serve the people of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, but I know that through the Lord, all things are possible.