You Raise Me Up
The Lord Replaces Feelings of Inadequacy With
Feelings of Strength
Intro:
a. introduction/short
history
Hello, my name is
Taylor Colvin, and for those of you who don’t know my family, we’ve lived in
Spokane for the past 11 years, and have loved being a part of the wonderful
Greenbluff and Colbert wards. I’m 21 and recently graduated from Whitworth
University with a double major in music and biology, and am leaving on a
mission to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil on July 10th. After serving my
mission I hope to pursue graduate school to study Physical Therapy.
b. timeline of mission
application/stages of emotion
Since I was about 15
or 16 I knew that I wanted to serve a mission, however, the
process of applying and preparing for a mission was far different than I
originally anticipated. For those of you unfamiliar with the process, someone
interested in serving must meet with their local bishop to run through
spiritual and physical requirements needed to serve a mission. After this
appointment, you are cleared to access an online missionary application form.
Then, you must go to the doctor and dentist, receive many shots, remove wisdom
teeth if needed, fill out an extensive application with personal information,
submit a photo, meet with your bishop and stake president again, and then your
papers will be submitted to the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve. They
are guided by the spirit to make a mission assignment, and then the call will
come in the mail, usually 2-3 weeks after the final submission of the
application.
My
brother Garrison and I submitted our papers early January of this year, and
after a month of waiting for our mission calls to come, we found out on
February 8th that our assignments had officially been made, and that our calls
would be coming within the next week! We knew that mission calls almost always
come on Thursdays, so we had the opening all planned out so that all of our
family could be there. This is how that Thursday went: First off, it was
Valentine's Day. I HATE being single on Valentine's Day, especially at
Whitworth where couples go all-out and walk around with roses and hand-holding
and chocolate hearts and matching dog sweaters and ridiculous grins on their
twitterpated deliriously happy faces. After four hours in my morning biology
dissection lab, I went to my parent's house to wait for the mailman to come
with my call! I waited and waited. and waited. And then the mailman
came! WITH NO MISSION CALL. So, smelling like formaldehyde and
disappointment, I drug my weepy self back to the library to study and do some
more waiting.
Another
agonizing day of waiting went by, and at 11:48 on Friday, February 15th, my mom
sent me a picture of two large white envelopes. After a month of anxiously
awaiting the call, it had finally come. I can't quite describe the feelings
leading up to opening a mission call. It is utterly overwhelming to realize
that in just a few short months you will be GONE for a year and a half, and
that location is concealed in a plain white envelope in front of you. I know
some future missionaries feel a lot of peace prior to opening their calls, but
for me the anticipation and anxiety of not knowing for over a month
was really hard! After the call opening, I was in a state of shock and
excitement! For about two weeks all I could do was bounce up and down and tell
EVERYONE I knew where I was going and what I would be doing.
c. coming down to the
final stage
Missions
are a big deal, and while I am still very excited to go, there are several
things I have learned that are NOT included in the mission packet.
1. Your days
will fly by. What was once four and a half months will suddenly transform until
your final countdown.
2. The time
between getting your call and leaving on your mission is filled with a roller
coaster of emotion. It's a lot like the scene from the animated movie Tangled
when Rapunzel rapidly shifts from skipping around and singing “this is the best
day ever, I’m never going back!” to curling up, rocking back and forth, and
crying “I have to go home, mother would kill me!”
As I have prepared to serve
for the next year and a half, I have realized just how many shortcomings I
have. I have questioned whether or not I will be able to learn Portuguese, get
along with a companion 24/7, if I will be able to overcome the emotional
difficulty of leaving everything familiar, and if I can truly be an accurate
representative of The Lord in spreading His truth and gospel. Often times my
feelings of excitement for my mission are overshadowed by overwhelming feelings
of inadequacy.
Central question/thesis: I sense that I am not alone in feeling this way. So my
question for you, brothers and sisters, is how can we feel as though we are “enough” when serving
the Lord, despite the many inadequacies, doubts, and human frailties that we
possess?
Body:
Realizing that we are not alone—great men have
doubted, but we always have the Lord to comfort us and catch us when we fall.
In the October 1976 general
conference, Neil A. Maxwell gave the following address:
“Some of us who would not chastise a
neighbor for his frailties have a field day with our own. Some of us stand
before no more harsh a judge than ourselves, a judge who stubbornly refuses to
admit much happy evidence and who cares nothing for due process. Fortunately, the
Lord loves us more than we love ourselves. A constructive critic truly cares
for that which he criticizes, including himself, whereas self-pity is the most
condescending form of pity; it soon cannibalizes all other concerns.”
The scriptures remind us that
we are not the first to wrestle with these feelings.
In Exodus 3:11 we read,
“And Moses
said unto God, who am I, that I should go unto Pharaoh, and that I
should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?”
Exodus 4:10 reads,
“And
Moses said unto the Lord, O, my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore nor
since thou has spoken unto thy servant, but I am slow of speech, and of a slow
tongue.”
We see in these passages, that when
God called upon Moses to lead the children of Israel out of Egypt, Moses
immediately felt inability and incompetence to do what was required of him. He
saw this work as too great, too profound in its nature and character. As he felt
his weakness he urged God to look to others, again asking, “Who am I
that I should be sent forth to accomplish this great work--for it is impossible
that it can be accomplished by any such ability that I possess.”
In Matthew 14 we read
of another great follower of Christ doubting in his abilities.
“And he (Jesus) said, Come.
And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to
Jesus.
“But when he saw the wind
boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save
me.”
I think another great example comes
from the Old Testament prophet, Jeremiah. The Lord called upon him to be a
prophet, not only to the house of Israel, but also to all the surrounding
nations. He was just a young boy when God first appeared unto him. We read in Jeremiah 1:5-6 that when God first called Jeremiah,
he responded saying:
“I am but
a child. How can I accomplish this great work you require at my hands, to
discharge these great responsibilities you propose to lay upon my shoulders?” But God told him, “I knew you
before I formed you in the belly.”
The Lord said He knew Jeremiah before he
came into this world, and that he had the ability to accomplish that which the
Lord required at his hands. In these examples, great men doubted
their ability to accomplish what the Lord asked of them. Challenges,
difficulties, doubts—these are part of our mortality. But we are not alone. We
can accept this stunning, irrevocable truth: Our Lord can lift us from deep
despair and cradle us midst any care. For as Moses, a great prophet of old
asked, “who am I to lead the people out of bondage?”, the Lord strengthened him
and provided a way for him to accomplish that great task. As Peter, a powerful
disciple, cried out in uncertainty, “Lord, save me!” Jesus immediately stretched forth his hand and caught
him. And as Jeremiah, that boy prophet, felt so inadequate, the Lord reassured
him of his divine nature and ability to preach the gospel.
I think that so often, we forget to
remember that we are sons and daughters of the most loving Heavenly Father we
could imagine.
In a CES Fireside for Young Adults
in November 2009, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave the following council:
“God has given again in these latter
days, the truth about where we came from, why we are here, and where we are
going. Much of the confusion we experience in this life comes from simply not
understanding who we are. One of the most beloved storytellers of all time was
the Danish writer Hans Christian Andersen. In one of his stories, “The Ugly Duckling,”
a mother duck discovers that one of her newly hatched chicks is unusually large
and very ugly. The other ducklings cannot leave the ugly child alone, they
punish him mercilessly. The ugly duckling decides it would be better for
everyone if he left his family, and so he ran away. Then one day, he sees
flying overhead a flock of majestic birds. He takes flight and follows them to
a beautiful lake. The ugly duckling looks into the water and sees a reflection
of a magnificent swan. The ugly duckling realizes that the reflection is his
own. He has discovered who he really is. Think of where you come from. You are
sons and daughters of the greatest, most glorious being in the universe. He
loves you with an infinite love. He wants the best for you. This knowledge
changes everything. It changes your present, it can change your future, and it
can change the world. If only we understood who we are, and what is in store
for us, our hearts would overflow with such gratitude and happiness, that it
would enlighten even the darkest souls with the light and love of God. Of
course, there will always be voices telling you that you are foolish to believe
that you are swans, insisting that you are but ugly ducklings, and that you
can’t expect to become anything else. But you know better—you are no ordinary
beings. You are glorious and eternal. I plead with you, just look into the
water and see your true reflection. It is my prayer and blessing, that when you
look at your reflection, you will be able to see beyond imperfections and self
doubts, and recognize who you truly are, glorious sons and daughters of
almighty God.”
Sometimes
I forget that I am a daughter of a magnificent loving Heavenly Father. I know
that self-criticism and feelings of inadequacy have been personal struggles as
I have prepared to go on this mission. There are some days when I can’t wait to
be in the mission field, and there are many more where I wonder what I am
doing. I’m a 21-year-old recent graduate traveling to a foreign country and
sharing the gospel with others in what will likely be broken Portuguese. How
can I help others when I have such limited wisdom and life experience? I have
lived a privileged and protected life—how can I possibly express empathy and
promises to the people of Brazil when I have never been faced with some of the
challenges that they may have? How am I wise enough, good enough, brave enough,
and strong enough to be a representative of Christ?
The
answer can be found in Ether 12:27.
“And if men come unto me I will show
unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and
my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if
they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak
things become strong unto them”
This is the key to being a
follower of Christ. When we acknowledge our weaknesses and have faith in God,
we are strengthened and have the power to do great things. One of my favorite
songs buoys my spirit and reminds me that it is through Him that we can do all
things.
"You Raise Me Up"
When I am
down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
Conclusion:
It is my testimony that
through the love and atoning sacrifice of our Lord, He can replace feelings of
inadequacy with feelings of strength and love. I know that through the humble
prophet Joseph Smith, who surely felt immensely inadequate at times, the gospel
of Christ was restored in this dispensation. I am so grateful for the knowledge
that our Savior loves each and every one of us. We are created in God’s image;
we lived with him before we came to earth, and through Christ, we can return to
live with him someday. I know that we are children of our Heavenly Father, and
the knowledge that each and every one of us has divine nature brings me so much
comfort in what is an increasingly deviant world. I know that families are
ordained of God since the time of Adam and Eve, and I am so grateful for
righteous parents who continue to give me wise guidance and council. I know that this church is lead by a humble latter-day prophet, Thomas S. Monson, who receives revelation from Heavenly Father. It is such a blessing to listen to his council, as it is direct council from Heavenly Father. The Book of Mormon is true, and I promise you that as you read it and pray about it, you will feel an overpowering feeling of the Holy Ghost confirming the truth of it unto you. I am grateful for the many
bishops, teachers, leaders, and ward members who play such pivotal supportive
roles in many people’s lives. I'm grateful for loving parents who have helped me get to this point. I am so humbled and feel so inadequate to serve the people of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, but I know that through the Lord, all things are possible.
